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From a Higher Elevation

The Integram: an Integral Enneagram of Consciousness;  a model of consciousness, including all aspects, for designing practical paths of personal development and evolution.

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From a Higher Elevation
(click for podcast) (6:22 min.)

Manipulation or Facilitation

Some folks over the years have expressed questions about their newfound skills in communication, even wondering if these abilities crossed ethical boundaries. Those who’ve studied Neuro-Linguistic Programming or Hypnotherapy have probably heard similar concerns. Being able to move someone with communication; whether that’s moving them in their “position,” or moving them emotionally, is powerful. When we’re moved by a poem or film, we rarely think of that as being manipulated, even though in the strictest definition that’s exactly what happened. In fact, depending upon your dictionary, only the second or third definitions carry any negative connotations.

The word manipulation actually comes from the Latin: manipulus, which is to operate with the hands or by mechanical means. To “turn something over in your hands” is actually a precise definition of the word manipulation. We’ve only added the “devious” implications relatively recently, and it seems to have really stuck.

When a technique proves extremely effective, it can obviously become an advantage. Conscious communication gives you an ability to move others through your words. In and of itself, this kind of advantage is no more malevolent than having great tools vs. cheap tools for any job. Using better tools  doesn’t take away from anyone. When looking at the ethics, it all comes down to intention. How you use them becomes the real question. What’s your desired outcome? This is where Non-Zero Sum game theory comes into play.

If this isn’t a familiar term, Zero-Sum describes the outcome where one must lose for the other to win. There’s no option for cooperation, compromise, or a win-win scenario. Tennis, boxing, and many sports are prime examples of this adversarial positioning. Unfortunately, this also shows up in dialogues and negotiations. “I’m right!” “no, I’m right!” is the gist of these highly evolved dialogues. Again, one person must lose for the other to win.

Non-Zero-Sum in communication allows for both sides to win, or at least for nobody to lose, but requires extra consciousness to achieve. That extra consciousness helps us not step on toes. It helps us catch important cues and influence the harmonious nature of the conversation.

Conscious communication isn’t used to beat the other person. It aims for an outcome that’s about the good of the “we” rather than the good of the “me.” It aims for a higher purpose than one side or the other winning; it’s about finding the best for both. That perspective comes from a higher elevation of consciousness. From that elevation, your motivation is perfectly ethical and above board; seeking the best for everyone.

Doing no Harm
Conscious communication is really about using non-incendiary language, non-judgmental language, and being open to possibilities language. This can be as simple as asking a question in place of making an assumptive statement (always a smart choice.) Another place where we can easily access what we might call more diplomatic language is when we put ourselves in the other person’s position. How would we want to be spoken to, treated, or listened to from their place?

In each case, looping back to the “good of the we” rather than the “good of the me,” yields superior results. Using more artful, strategic language is really just operating from a higher place of consciousness; a place where you “know better,” about all the petty little things that people get caught up in, and there’s no reason to go down that road. You can believe something different than I believe, and we won’t obliterate the Universe like matter and anti-matter. It’s just good old pluralism at work. Artful, strategic language leaves the opening for pluralism, and the opening for solutions that are larger, more creative and mutually beneficial than your way or my way.

Want to learn more about how to become the best you possible? How your communication can hold you back or catapult you forward?
Come visit the web site, or better yet, contact me and see how we can design a program to fit your needs and desired outcomes.

     - Ian J. Blei


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Welcome to the Conscious Communication Chronicle, sharing how Conscious Communication results in success, and how you can achieve yours.   Enjoy!



The Optimizer
Ian Blei,
Director of the
Institute for Integral Enneagram Studies and
President of
Optimized Results



Kind Ambition

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Kind Ambition:
Practical Steps
to Achieve Success
 Without Losing Your Soul



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Kind Ambition is about you having the tools to slide over to the driver’s seat of your own life.  Circumstances will always be changing, seemingly thwarting our plans, but we don’t have to be  thrown around by them. You can be in charge of your choices and actions more than you might imagine - yet.


Kind Ambition is written for you, as a practical guide you can use right now.  It is a collection of  insights and actions designed to help you move forward and get more out of your life at home and at work.  The chapters hold to a formula of first giving you a new way to look at things, then offering you tangible Action Steps to try them out, and finally some things to notice when you do.





Kind words for “Kind Ambition”


"If you are interested in success, whether it is in running a large organization, a small business, or leading a satisfying life, you will find a right blend of rules, wisdom and wit in a digestible fashion that will serve to accomplish your objectives. The notion that kindness can be blended with ambition and made to work and serve the "bottom line" is enlightening, uplifting and satisfying."

-Steven Kiefel – CEO, Red Pill Media




“An easy to use guide for anyone who wants to achieve real  growth and success. His sensible and practical tactics solve age-old challenges with real, how-to solutions. Best of all, Ian lives his work!”

-Romanus Wolter - Author: Kick Start Your Dream Business
Success Coach Columnist: Entrepreneur Magazine
Radio Host: Syndicated Kick Start Guy Segment




" We all face obstacles in our lives and careers. Some of these come from within, subverting our conscious intentions. The  good news is: they can be overcome.  The techniques and processes found in this book will help you on your way."

-Margaret Heffernan – Author: The Naked Truth: A Working Woman's

 Manifesto on Business and What Really Matters

Syndicated Columnist: Fast Company Magazine




“A scientifically-based, spiritually-awake, (and smart and funny) guide to making the most of your life.  Ian Blei provides the know-how, the inspiration, the structure and all the tools you need in  this straightforward and inspirational book.”

     -Lisa Betts-LaCroix, Past President of SF Coaches
Star of Unapix film, “Dance Me Outside”




" Ian Blei shares his deep insights in simple and straightforward ways.  His work continues to inspire me whenever I feel I'm getting stuck in some area of my life."

-Roy King, III , Director Pacific Development Partners




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