an Integral Enneagram of Consciousness; a model of consciousness, including
all aspects, for designing practical
paths of personal development and evolution.
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and this time it's Personal (power)
Before getting involved in personal
development work, the question is always what am I going to get out of
this, and how will it help me? Sure, the answer could fill a book, but boiling
it down, what I see most people take away is a huge amount of confidence
and personal power.
Think about it; when you really understand how something works, from
changing a tire to an app on your phone, you feel more confident about
it. Wouldn’t it follow that if you really understand how you
work, you’d feel more confident about you? When you want to
understand something complicated like a car’s fuel pump, you carefully
take it apart, see how each component fits, then put it back together.
This kind of deconstruction, examination, and re-integration works with
us too. If we examine things piecemeal; looking at an issue that’s
bothering us here, another there, we’re putting out fires, rather than
making ourselves fireproof. The former increases our stress level, as
regardless of what we’re doing, there’s going to be another issue around
the corner. An Integral understanding of how each component works
together enables us to solve for root causes that solve multiple
we can throw one switch to turn on all the lights, it saves a lot of
time and energy. Sometimes that one switch seems huge and impossible,
but the benefits so outweigh living in darkness, it’s worth the effort.
One of these enormous switches is breaking through a developmental stage
that stays with us all our lives; self-centered processing. I hesitate
to use the n-word (narcissism) as most people have a negative and
distorted view of what it actually means.
When we’re young, we have very little information to work with except
for our own experience. We take our feelings and thoughts and figure
that’s what others are feeling and thinking. What else do we have to go
on? Hopefully, as we go out into the world we learn that others feel and
think differently, and that’s not necessarily a deviation from what’s
true. We still tend to keep that younger process, looking at what’s
going on around us as “orbiting” us. Hopefully we grow to see ourselves
as a part of everything around us; not the center.
Being able to throw this switch, shifting from the center of what’s
happening to a part of what’s happening solves for an astounding number
of issues and problems in our lives, relationships, and work. Let’s look
at reducing one of the biggies: anxiety.
Internal Dialog and Definitions
Fear and anxiety
are used interchangeably as synonyms, along with dread, terror, alarm,
panic and more. These all impact our limbic system and biochemistry
almost identically, so they can feel the same. There’s even some overlap
to make things more confusing.
What if we could explore a way of looking at this sensation in a way
that can alleviate some of the unnecessary aspects? For example,
differentiating between anxiety and fear can make us feel much better,
without losing a healthy sense of safety. We need a certain amount of
reasonable fear to survive, and that’s a great place to start
differentiating. Fear is really about physical danger and a threat that
we’ll come to bodily harm. Without this, we would’ve walked up to pet a
saber-tooth tiger, and wouldn’t have survived as a species. When it
comes to fear, we really only have two options: fight or flight.
Now think about the last time you felt anxiety. Were you being chased by
wolves or a guy with a chainsaw? Those would be perfect times to have
fear shooting adrenaline through your bloodstream, and fight or flight
are your only options. When you felt anxiety, there’s a good chance you
were in a position where you were concerned about what others would
think about you. This is a great place to differentiate because you have
more options than just fight or flight.
I do want to acknowledge that overlap mentioned earlier. We can have
anxiety over losing our jobs, which may not be an immediate
life-threatening situation, but it dovetails with fear, when our
security is threatened. We still have multiple options beyond fight or
flight, and that’s why I’m still calling this anxiety.
So bringing all of these concepts to a singular root cause and solution,
I’ll share my own switch-flipping aha! I used to have the dreaded and
common “fear of public speaking. When I looked at it as a fear, my
options were of course fight or flight, neither of which worked at all
for public speaking, so I started digging deeper. I realized that there
was little chance I’d come to physical harm, even if I was terrible. So
what was I afraid of?
I was afraid others would think I was stupid, boring, didn’t know my
material, or just plain wouldn’t like me. First, none of that meant
physical harm, so I reframed my stomach twisting as anxiety. Now I could
look for solutions beyond fight or flight. As I looked at all of the
things I was worried about, they all had to do with how others felt
about me, putting myself in the center of everything. What if I flipped
that developmental switch, and took myself out of the center, and
focused on them? Now my questions were “how can I best serve them?
How can I give them the best?” I love to give people value, so
this could be really fun! The more I thought about giving to them, the
less anxiety I felt, and I started to thoroughly enjoy public speaking.
This was the Integral aha! My anxiety was directly tied to being the
center of everything. I could look at my anxiety as a function of
narcissism, and it immediately changed from a controlling factor to an
undesirable vestige of my childhood. Rather than anxiety pushing me
around whenever it surfaces, I can catch it and say, “hey, why am I
putting myself in the center of the Universe here? Get a grip!” With
this, anxiety melts into laughter, and I’m free. Once again, an Integral
approach solved countless individual areas where anxiety once reigned.
Want to learn more about how to become the best you possible?
Want to grab your life with both hands and
make it intentional and extraordinary? Come visit the
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- Ian J. Blei
February brings us Valentine's Day, Chinese New Year, and even
President's Day. To accommodate this variety, I'm offering a couple of
specials this month.
First, for Chinese New Year, I'm not "monkeying around," but extending the New Year special of a
solid month of coaching for the
"Transformational Business Plan," at 50% off, so 4
weeks of working with you on this masterful workbook to
create the most productive and powerful year to date. Workbook and four
1-hour sessions, only $499. Only extending to February 28, because it's a crazy discount, but I
want to help as many of you as possible to not have
another year go by where you're not the master of it.
"...If you're looking to start a new business, change careers, or
trying to figure out what to do with your life, I highly recommend
working with Ian!”
-Dave Kang, Internet Entrepreneur and User Experience Designer
Then for Valentine's Day, I'm offering the 90-minute Couples Session at 50% off
as well. This is for Couples, Partners, or Duos of any kind. You'll
understand what you bring to the table, where you're on the same page,
and where the forks in the road are. You'll get a map of the minefields
and the path to your best relationship possible, communication tips, and
more. Regularly $250.00 but only $125.00 until February 28, and it
will change your relationship. (Details)
just one session, my partner and I were able to move through conflict in
a non-blaming and curious way, eager to explore how our innate
differences worked in our relationship...As a psychotherapist, I
recommend this process to the couples I see for relationship therapy...""-
Shari Levine, LMFT, Portland, OR.
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Welcome to the Integram, where consciousness meets
Institute for Integral Enneagram
Without Losing Your Soul
about you having
the tools to slide over to the
driver’s seat of your
Circumstances will always be
changing, seemingly thwarting
our plans, but we don’t have to be
thrown around by them. You can
charge of your choices and actions more than you might imagine - yet.
is written for you,
as a practical guide you can
right now. It is a collection of
insights and actions designed to help
you move forward and get more out
of your life at home and at work.
The chapters hold to a formula of
first giving you a new way to look at
things, then offering you tangible
Action Steps to try them out, and
finally some things to notice when you do.
Kind words for
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find a right blend of rules, wisdom and wit in a digestible fashion that
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be blended with ambition and made to work and serve the "bottom line" is
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“An easy to use guide for anyone who wants to
growth and success. His sensible and practical tactics
solve age-old challenges with real, how-to solutions. Best of all, Ian
lives his work!”
-Romanus Wolter -
Author: Kick Start Your Dream Business
Success Coach Columnist: Entrepreneur Magazine
Radio Host: Syndicated Kick Start Guy Segment
We all face obstacles in our lives and careers. Some of these come from within, subverting our conscious intentions. The
good news is: they can be overcome. The techniques and processes found in this book will help you on your way."
-Margaret Heffernan – Author: The Naked Truth: A Working Woman's
Manifesto on Business and What Really Matters
Syndicated Columnist: Fast
scientifically-based, spiritually-awake, (and smart and funny) guide to
making the most of your life. Ian Blei provides the know-how, the
inspiration, the structure and all the tools you need in this
-Lisa Betts-LaCroix, Past
President of SF Coaches
Star of Unapix film,
“Dance Me Outside”
Ian Blei shares his deep insights in simple and straightforward
ways. His work continues to inspire me whenever I feel I'm getting stuck in some area of my life."
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