The Integram: an Integral Enneagram of Consciousness;  a model of consciousness, including all aspects, for designing practical paths of personal development and evolution.

Quick Links: jump to any section

Feature Article 
No time? Listen to the  podcast (11:07 min.) in the background while you file, exercise, ride to work, etc. Prefer Soundcloud?
Podcast coming soon
Feature Article 
Special Offers
Resource Links
****************

****************

De-Humanizing is the Illness;
Re-Humanizing is the Cure
(click for podcast on Soundcloud)

Have you noticed there's a bit of a quality of life epidemic happening these days? Depression, anxiety, and loneliness are at historic highs. Statistics are showing upwards of a 69% reported increase in loneliness, anxiety, and depression since 2003. What makes this worse is how these issues are intertwined. Loneliness increases anxiety and depression, and anxiety and depression often lead to more isolation and loneliness. They feed on each other.

There are some distinct parallels we can see during this time period. Primarily, the enormous shift toward technology, and more importantly, away from each other. I'm not going to go into a luddite rant against technology here, but there are very strong indicators of a connection between increased technology usage and decreased interpersonal interactions.

Technology has offered alternatives to normal human interaction, and those who are selling things have been hard at work presenting them as preferable. This works on our neurobiology in several ways that we're not necessarily aware of taking place.

The weapon is a subtle, but constant level of stress which instigates a bit of fight or flight reactivity in the brain. This actually obstructs our noticing what's happening to us. You may be familiar with the story about the frog in a slowly heated pot of water. As it's being heated slowly, the frog doesn't really notice until it's too late. We're at a very similar crossroad right now.

We've been sold big desires, which make people yearn for more. More what? More everything. People are chasing achievement, money, fame, success, and so on, as they're being told it will bring them happiness. When it doesn't, they're told they need to chase even more. There are people who have enough money to spend a million dollars a day for 50 years, and they're not happy. We're basically being gaslighted to chase “more, faster, more, faster,” with the false promise of happiness.

In reality, we're seeing this increase in unhappiness everywhere, and the key reasons are right in front of us.

Disconnection from work, either no control or no real meaning.

Disconnection from people in the real world, with a rise in superficial interactions and lack of deep social support.

Disconnection from meaningful values, replaced by “more, faster, more, faster.”

Disconnection from the natural world, which literally calms our limbic system.

Disconnection from having hope for a better future, as algorithms feed doom and gloom for more engagement with the technology, and thus advertising.

Of course there are biological factors (genetic and biochemical) that contribute to some of this depression and anxiety in some people, but the staggering increase over the past 10-15 years indicates these factors as a minority contributor.

We need to see depression and anxiety as “alarms” to which we need to pay attention. They're saying you're a human being with unmet needs, and the outside world telling you that you need their products or you need to do more, faster, more, faster isn't based on you. It's to their benefit and your deficit.

There are plenty of factors contributing to what I call “futility's chase.” One of the big ones that's really had immense documented impact is Social Media, which plays on one of our weaknesses: comparison to others. "Comparison is the thief of joy" is a quote usually attributed to Teddy Roosevelt.

Constantly comparing one's own life, achievements, or possessions to others leads to envy, low self-esteem, and dissatisfaction, ultimately stealing personal happiness. Social Media incites this kind of comparison through constant exposure to idealized, “perfect” lives and filtered photos, which cause feelings of inadequacy and envy. The curated imagery and narratives of success add to this, as we become disappointed in ourselves for not achieving the magical success we see others having.

Media in general tends to push high and unrealistic expectations, which further bring about those feelings of “not enough,” so we need to push for “more, faster, more, faster.” Reality stands in the way of that, as the high cost of living, and concerns about the future raise the stakes and make that imaginary wall higher to climb.

And the thing is, what's being pushed won't make us happy, regardless of what we're being told and sold. Obtaining what we think others value doesn't make us valuable. Status symbols are just bait on a hook. Hopefully we're smarter than fish.

One of the lures to our detrimental behavior is our old friend dopamine; one of our reward neurotransmitters. The thing about dopamine is there are several flavors. Some of it is what we call “junk dopamine,” which is very much like junk food.

We feel good for a moment, but get no nutrition. It's a quick spike and drop form that we get from junk food, gaming, shopping, social media likes and funny video shorts. The drop is very quick, and leads to decreased motivation, energy crashes, and a compulsion to seek another spike.

This spike and drop cycle is what leads to addictions, and most technology platforms design their algorithms to take advantage of this. The thing is, dopamine receptors get exhausted, and it takes more and more stimulus to get the same level of reward. This adds to the addictive nature of dopamine.

There's also healthy dopamine that doesn't cause a relentless quest for more. Being connected to our deeper values, we can pursue activities that provide a more gradual and sustainable sense of accomplishment. These activities are generally more “human” in nature.

Ironically, re-humanizing ourselves tends to go in the opposite direction of the media and corporate message of “more, faster, more, faster.” If we slow down enough to really connect with our surroundings and other humans, we start getting a host of reward neurotransmitters, along with dopamine.

Getting exercise with friends (remember playing with your friends as a kid?) can stimulate dopamine, serotonin, and endorphins all at the same time. Getting enough sleep and eating a clean diet rich in protein will also help stimulate dopamine that lasts. The tyrosine in protein stimulates dopamine synthesis.

Serotonin doesn't exhaust reward receptors, so it can last much longer without chasing more. We can get lots of serotonin from contribution to, and engagement with others. We can't get it from technology or chasing dopamine. Remember the saying “it's better to give than to receive?” Your neurotransmitters will back that up. We don't really get a serotonin influx from “sharing” a tweet, but we do get one from sharing a meal with someone.

So the cure for much of the depression, anxiety, and loneliness/isolation we feel comes down to simply getting back in touch with being human, and interacting in the real world with other humans. Interacting with a predictive language algorithm won't do it. In fact, since it mimics the real thing, it fools people into thinking they're interacting with another human, which tricks them into not pursuing real humans. Bouncing ideas off of a program will never give you the biological benefits of bouncing ideas off of other humans.

Getting out of the cultural malaise we find ourselves in means paying attention to your real needs. You need to feel you belong, that your life has purpose, that there's a future that makes sense. You need love, meaning, and connection. That connection is to the real, organic world of which you're a part. Get out into nature.

Take a walk among the trees or along the beach. Feel your body returning to normal. Feel yourself slowing back down to being human, and not trying to force yourself into digital speed. Re-humanize yourself, and feel the contentment, relaxation, and strength that returns. When your quality of life is high, the quality of everything you do goes up as well. Quality over quantity is our normalcy. Quantity over quality is being a machine. You're human! Rejoice in that miracle.

Want to learn more about how to become the best you possible?  Come visit the web site, or better yet, contact me and see how we can design a program to fit your needs and desired outcomes.

     - Ian J. Blei


****************

May Spring Sale! -
I'm cutting the fee in half for both Dynamic Discovery Sessions and Laser Coaching Single Sessions this month. Easy to schedule on Calendly.

“Working with Ian saved my company thousands upon thousands of dollars in my time and through better decision-making. His coaching has been invaluable to me." - Shannon.Seek., - Consultant and Author

Each session is normally $287.00, but will be free with your secret word, and has often been called "mind-blowing" in life-changing ways. Hope to see you soon! Click to Schedule.

****************
 

Welcome to the Integram, where consciousness meets intentional design.   Enjoy!

The Optimizer
Ian Blei,
Director of the
Institute for Integral Enneagram Studies and
President of
Optimized Results
415.826.0478

Kind Ambition

Click HERE

Kind Ambition:
Practical Steps
to Achieve Success
 Without Losing Your Soul
 

Kind Ambition
Fan Page
now on
 FACEBOOK

Kind Ambition is about you having the tools to slide over to the driver’s seat of your own life.  Circumstances will always be changing, seemingly thwarting our plans, but we don’t have to be  thrown around by them. You can be in charge of your choices and actions more than you might imagine - yet.

Kind Ambition is written for you, as a practical guide you can use right now.  It is a collection of  insights and actions designed to help you move forward and get more out of your life at home and at work.  The chapters hold to a formula of first giving you a new way to look at things, then offering you tangible Action Steps to try them out, and finally some things to notice when you do.

Kind words for “Kind Ambition”

"If you are interested in success, whether it is in running a large organization, a small business, or leading a satisfying life, you will find a right blend of rules, wisdom and wit in a digestible fashion that will serve to accomplish your objectives. The notion that kindness can be blended with ambition and made to work and serve the "bottom line" is enlightening, uplifting and satisfying."

-Steven Kiefel – CEO, Red Pill Media

“An easy to use guide for anyone who wants to achieve real  growth and success. His sensible and practical tactics solve age-old challenges with real, how-to solutions. Best of all, Ian lives his work!”

-Romanus Wolter - Author: Kick Start Your Dream Business
Success Coach Columnist: Entrepreneur Magazine
Radio Host: Syndicated Kick Start Guy Segment

" We all face obstacles in our lives and careers. Some of these come from within, subverting our conscious intentions. The  good news is: they can be overcome.  The techniques and processes found in this book will help you on your way."

-Margaret Heffernan – Author: The Naked Truth: A Working Woman's

 Manifesto on Business and What Really Matters

Syndicated Columnist: Fast Company Magazine

“A scientifically-based, spiritually-awake, (and smart and funny) guide to making the most of your life.  Ian Blei provides the know-how, the inspiration, the structure and all the tools you need in  this straightforward and inspirational book.”

     -Lisa Betts-LaCroix, Past President of SF Coaches
Star of Unapix film, “Dance Me Outside”

" Ian Blei shares his deep insights in simple and straightforward ways.  His work continues to inspire me whenever I feel I'm getting stuck in some area of my life."

-Roy King, III , Senior Partner/Channel Marketing Manager - Skype