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September

2010

 
Turning Cranial Chaos
                
Into a Choir

Conscious Communication: bringing communication up from "auto-pilot" and reactive, to thoughtful, responsive, and above all, intentional.

Feature Article 

  No time? Listen to the  podcast (8:24 min.) in the background while you file, exercise, ride to work, etc.

 

Quick Communication Tip

Resource Links

 

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Turning Cranial Chaos Into a Choir
(click for podcast)

 

Those conversations you have with yourself when making a decision are actually between more voices than you might imagine. We usually think there are only two voices (a dialectic) offering two sides of a situation. If only it were that simple, we’d be able to make decisions instantly, with no questions or remorse (like a computer – digital; two voices: 0 and 1).

Do you remember the old Mickey Mouse cartoons with a tiny Goofy on each of his shoulders; a devil and an angel? This represented the simplistic Good vs. Evil influences in our decision-making. Once again, if only it were a simple binary input, those discussions in our heads would be so much shorter. What’s more, once we decided, we wouldn’t question or ruminate afterward.

You are far more complex, and there are more than two voices in the discussion; creating depth and dimensionality. We actually have at least five voices representing five perspectives, each with its own agenda and worldview. And each of us is a composite of those perspectives.

Just trying to keep track of all those voices, perspectives, and the chaos they bring up increases our stress levels, which impedes clear thinking. When you identify those five voices and their agendas, it puts you back in control of your decision-making process.


The Multiple Perspective Perspective
One of the reasons people have a difficult time or resist any kind of typing or modeling, is a general misconception that it puts you in a box or says you are one type of person. Not necessarily.

An easy way of looking at the system I use (the Integral Enneagram) is to imagine nine people sitting around a circle at the beach. Depending on your position, you might see mostly ocean, or you might see mostly sand. Both perspectives are true. Both taken as mutually exclusive would cause an argument. The Integral Enneagram is a system that allows us to model these different perspectives, as multiple truths at the same time, and understand where they’re coming from.

You know that your perspective shifts radically under stress or when you’re confident, and once again this model illustrates these dynamics as well. These shifted perspectives are often called your Integration or Disintegration Points, and would be just like moving to a different part of that circle on the beach. Now you see things differently.


Just the Five of You.
We’ve talked about your primary typology, or the main way you take in and sort input, and your Integration and Disintegration Points. Now we introduce your adjacent Wing Typologies. They’re sitting next to you on the circle, and if we were playing cards, could probably see your hand. They always share their perspective and put their two cents in constantly. Life circumstances usually influence how much each of them speaks up, and how “evolved” their worldviews will be.

One thing you can count on is that adjacent wings commonly have very different character traits, and this accounts for some of the sense of opposition we hear as that dialectic. They’re not exact opposites, and this is where the depth and dimensionality come in, along with the confusion. The complexity of an individual is in the combination of all their components.

Someone who is competitive, driven, and hard working may recognize four other voices conflicting or adding to the internal discussion: “I don’t want to do this, How can I help? The colors have to be more balanced, and I just want my team to win.”

Someone who brainstorms, plans, and thinks a million miles an hour in a thousand directions may recognize their four other voices: “Safety first, My way or the highway, Why can’t anyone do it right, I love finding things out.”

You may recognize a few of those voices as your own. There are a lot of overlaps. Knowing who is saying what, and what that part’s agenda is, helps you to make decisions on a far richer level. Imagine knowing that the voice saying not to go for that dream job is only your Stress Point’s opinion, and that your true self is ready and yearning for it. Knowing about this chorus also helps us to hear these voices in each other thanks to those overlaps, and understand each other without the judgment that separates us.


Pulling Together.
Taking this further, these voices pulling together in harmony, rather than different directions, toward your chosen goals is immensely powerful and helpful for you. Knowing who is contributing what to the discussion in your head puts you in charge of your own resources, and takes a bit of applied training to master.

Appreciating the nuances of these types and the amazing applications that are yours for the taking was the basis for Optimized Results creating different coaching and communication programs for each typology. Each type or worldview needs their own approach to achieving their own best results, and by listening carefully to people, you can hear between the lines, and get an idea of what makes them tick. This gives you a competitive edge on developing rapport and relationship, which is of course what drives your business.

Whether you want to improve your effectiveness in business, in your home life, in relationships, etc. the most important common element is you. Knowing and being in command of your resources gives you the ability to shift from reactive to proactive in every facet of your life.

 



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Quick Communication Tip

 

Multiple Personality Order

Getting past the jokes around multiple personality disorder, there are actually advantages to having multiple personalities behaving in an orderly fashion. First, within our own mind, there is the obvious advantage to being able to look at any situation from a variety of perspectives. We minimize the number of blindspots, when we add more perspectives. Then when we add the complexities of working with others, being able to hold multiple perspectives simultaneously gives us superior abilities in communication and problem-solving.

Getting caught up in “I’m right!” “No, I’m right!” arguments is dysfunctional and completely non-productive. Recognizing that we might just share the other person’s perspective when we are in a different state of mind opens the door of possibility that both may be right, and a better solution serving both perspectives may be possible. The more we can find solutions that serve more people, the better and
more sustainable those solutions will be.


Want to learn more about how your communication can hold you back or catapult you forward?  Come visit the web site, or better yet, contact me and see how we can design a program to fit your needs and desired outcomes.


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Resource Links:


Conscious Communication - the podcast series

KG Stiles: "Conversations that Enlighten and Heal"
Ian Blei on Kind Ambition and the
Integram (TM)

Personal Life Media - "Coaching the Life Coach:"
Communication Excellence (Podcast Snippets)
Communication Excellence (full interview)


Interview Podcast for Evolutionary Radio w/ J. McClain

Kind Ambition -
2nd Edition now available

Got Blog? c
ome visit the Blog.

Character Driven - Ever want to create characters that were so believable, that people forgot they were characters?

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Welcome to the Conscious Communication Chronicle, sharing how Conscious Communication results in success, and how you can achieve yours.   Enjoy!

 

 



The Optimizer
Ian Blei,
Director of the
Institute for Integral Enneagram Studies and
President of
Optimized Results
415.826.0478

 

 

Kind Ambition

 

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Kind Ambition is about you having the tools to slide over to the driver’s seat of your own life.  Circumstances will always be changing, seemingly thwarting our plans, but we don’t have to be  thrown around by them. You can be in charge of your choices and actions more than you might imagine - yet.

 

Kind Ambition is written for you, as a practical guide you can use right now.  It is a collection of  insights and actions designed to help you move forward and get more out of your life at home and at work.  The chapters hold to a formula of first giving you a new way to look at things, then offering you tangible Action Steps to try them out, and finally some things to notice when you do.

 

 

 

 

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