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September 2006 |
What Did You Say?
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Welcome to the Conscious Communication Chronicle, sharing how Conscious Communication results in success, and how you can achieve yours. Enjoy!
Upcoming Events:
"Optimize
Your Communications for Success" Seminar
"Leverage
the Power of You" Seminar
Ever want to create
characters that were so believable, that people forgot they were
characters?
We've got Blog!
Now we can continue the
conversations started in these newsletters, tie-in to your questions, and really
explore issues that affect you and people like you, because you're a
contributor!
Kind Ambition:
Kind Ambition
is
about you having
the tools to slide over to the
driver’s seat of your
own life.
Circumstances will always be
changing, seemingly thwarting
our plans, but we don’t have to be
thrown around by them. You can
be in
charge of your choices and actions more than you might imagine - yet.
Kind Ambition
is written for you,
as a practical guide you can
use
right now. It is a
collection of
insights and actions designed to
help
you move forward and get
more out
of your life at home and
at work.
The chapters hold to a
formula of
first giving you a new
way to look at
things, then offering
you tangible
Action Steps to try
them out, and
finally some things to notice when you do.
Come
visit our site
"Kind Ambition |
Conscious Communication: bringing communication up from "auto-pilot" and reactive, to thoughtful, responsive, and above all, intentional.
The premise that motivation is a function of pain and reward is (to be kind) overly simplistic. In fact, to lump all humans into a single mode of stimulus and response is ludicrous. In practice, it yields dismal results. There's got to be a better way.
People who are masters at sales are usually quite adept at “reading” people, and making adjustments to their pitches accordingly. This is often a skill that they don’t really think about. It either comes naturally to them, or has evolved through experience. They’ve discovered that by using their listening skills, and paying close attention (see last month’s article) there’s much more to sales than using someone’s fears to manipulate them. Even for the small percentage of people that this works on, the results are short-term, non-sustainable, and inherently infused with negativity.
Why am I setting our context within the realm of sales? Whether we like it or not, the vast majority of our interactions in life involve conveying our “point” if not swaying others to it. This is the core definition of sales. We may be talking to a friend about a great meal, a great movie we just saw, or the benefits of rack-and-pinion steering. Presenting our view in a manner that is so attractive to the other person, that they might entertain holding it themselves is sales, pure and simple.
Beyond the simplicity of fear and manipulation selling is a more lasting joy of connection and relationship. This is where sustainability and repeat business come from. And just like that great movie, this is where referrals and word-of-mouth come from.
Using fear to manipulate is exemplified in the "Dark Side of the Force" in the Star Wars franchise. To quote Yoda, “it’s easier, faster, more seductive” yet inevitably leads to ruin. Once someone has been used in this way, they’re not likely to come back for more. It just doesn't feel good. The way of the Jedi may take a bit more consciousness and patience, but in the end, everybody wins, and the cycle can continue.
Core Issues – Different Strokes
"God is in the details." - Ludwig Mies van der
Rohe
To simplify my prose, I’ll step into the questioner’s place; writing from first person. The first example is tricky (fewer words often creates ambiguity). I might be asking permission, but I am also asking if my helping is a possibility. On a deeper level, I’m starting with the pre-supposition (a belief on some level) that I might not be able to help. That tells you about my internal landscape (thus my motivations).
In the second example, there is the pre-supposition that I can help you. I just need to know how to do that. I’m looking for guidance from you. That’s my actual question. The third example is especially telling. By asking “what can I do to help you,” I’m pre-supposing that I can do something to help, and I’m putting an activity safely between us. I am not offering my self. I am maintaining a safe distance emotionally, and offering a third entity: an activity I can perform. Once again, I’ve given you powerful information about my internal landscape (and motivation) through my choice of words.
The Bottom Line
Wouldn’t you rather use the right key on the right lock, than trying to jam the same key into every lock, hoping to find the right one by chance? You have everything you need to succeed: your ears, your conscious mind, and your willingness. All you need to do is apply them directly toward your desired outcome.
Two public seminars are lined up for October; designed to help you get ahead of the curve in your communications and performance. This time we're doing early evening, for those of you who weren't able to get away from work during the lunch-time seminars. (details).
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“Kind Ambition” Featured in Rachel Moser's "The Last Word" column in Women's Day Magazine!!!
"If you are interested in success, whether it is in running a large organization, a small business, or leading a satisfying life, you will find a right blend of rules, wisdom and wit in a digestible fashion that will serve to accomplish your objectives. The notion that kindness can be blended with ambition and made to work and serve the "bottom line" is enlightening, uplifting and satisfying." -Steven Kiefel – CEO, Red Pill Media
“An easy to use guide for anyone who wants to
achieve real
-Romanus Wolter -
Author: Kick Start Your Dream Business
"
We all face obstacles in our lives and careers. Some of these -Margaret Heffernan – Author: The Naked Truth: A Working Woman's Manifesto on Business and What Really Matters Syndicated Columnist: Fast Company Magazine
“A scientifically-based, spiritually-awake, (and smart and funny) guide to making the most of your life. Ian Blei provides the know-how, the inspiration, the structure and all the tools you need in this straightforward and inspirational book.”
-Lisa Betts-LaCroix, Past
President of SF Coaches
" Ian Blei shares his deep insights in simple and straightforward ways. His work continues to inspire me whenever I feel I'm getting stuck in some area of my life." -Roy King, III, Director Pacific Development Partners
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