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August

2013

 
Making Change Happen

Conscious Communication: bringing communication up from "auto-pilot" and reactive, to thoughtful, responsive, and above all, intentional.

Feature Article 

  No time? Listen to the  podcast (7:49 min.) in the background while you file, exercise, ride to work, etc.

 

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Special Offer

Quick Communication Tip

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Think Positive; Feel Better

Chronic Pain, Healing, and Mind Control

Thursday, August 22, 2013
6:00-7:00 pm

Rising Sun Physical Therapy
500 Sutter Street, Ste. #514
S.F., CA 94102

Register Here

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Making Change Happen
(click for podcast)

 

Go for the Roots
Why do we seek change and growth? What are we looking for? Is it that we’re not getting the results we want? Are we feeling like we’ve almost got it down, but there’s something more, something better just out of reach? Can we see that our old strategies are falling short and maybe even holding us back?

In my experience, all of the above seem to find their way into our lives. What’s really interesting is that 90% of the problems clients bring my way turn out to be symptoms of deeper issues they haven’t even recognized yet. There are so many metaphors for this process of chasing symptoms, and not getting ahead of them. Some people spend the day, “putting out fires.” Some run around clipping “dandelions,” only to see them back the next day. One of my favorite images comes from a game at Fisherman’s Wharf called “Whack-a-Mole,” where every time you whack a mole popping up, another one pops up from another hole. What these images all have in common is the amount of energy wasted in trying to solve root issues by chasing symptoms.

Once we become frustrated enough, we usually seek help. We talk to advisors, consultants, therapists, friends, and coaches. Everybody has ideas for how to deal with this problem or that problem, and yet it’s still more of the same, because we’re dealing with these individual situations as if they were the problems, so they keep showing up again. There’s a quote attributed to Albert Einstein saying that “we cannot solve our problems with the same thinking that created them.” We need a distinctive change in our thinking, and a process for implementing the change we seek.

We need to literally de-bug and re-write our cerebral software, so we can get out of our own way and truly thrive. How do we do it? If our subconscious and unconscious mind is having their way with us, how do we get our conscious mind involved, so we can change? To start, we need a way to decode what our sub and unconscious mind is doing so we can pass that information on to our conscious mind. To do this, we need to use three tools that will enable us to affect and implement deep, sustainable, transformational change: Mindfulness, Somatic Awareness, and Cognitive Linguistics.



Mindfulness, Somatic Awareness, and Cognitive Linguistics
We can’t solve problems we can’t see. First we have to be open to whatever is, and stop trying to force our internal mental constructs on reality. This is Mindfulness at its core; being exceptionally present to take in and absorb what is, without fighting it tooth and nail, or running away to escape it. Mindfulness puts us in a mental state where we’re one with everything that’s working and not working, seeing, feeling, and being a part of it, so that we can understand what’s happening. Mindfulness allows us to see that we’re losing our tempers, being impatient, making assumptions, getting judgmental, or even that we’re simply missing information, due to not being as present.

Then we need to have an “early warning system.” Before we go off the cliff, we need an alarm to sound. It turns out that our bodies give us cues all the time before we do things, but we don’t necessarily listen (or know how to listen.) This skill is called Somatic Awareness. Before we do things we don’t consciously want to do, our bodies send us signals. Our chests get tight, our faces get hot or flushed, our throats tighten up, and so on. This is almost like a wind-up before a pitch or a backswing in golf.

The more Somatically Aware we are, the more easily we hear our bodies warn us that we’re about to go off the rails. This is where we can insert a “pattern interrupt,” and not follow a pattern that isn’t serving us. This is where we can turn left instead of right or take a deep breath instead of yelling at someone.

Now we’re poised at that precipice, but we haven’t implemented the new software yet. No real change is going to happen until we do that, because the void we’re leaving by stopping ourselves will get filled quickly; and usually with another bad “habit.”

Enter our third tool: Cognitive Linguistics. This is the language of your conscious mind, and this is where we can give ourselves new instructions. The wonderful thing about Cognitive Linguistics is that they’re a two-way street. Our words affect the way we think, and the way we think affects our word choice. In implementing the new “code,” we select the right words to shift the internal dialogue, and then repeat this process until it gets “wired” into our cortex. Cognitive Linguistics can take us from defeated to inspired, and from overwhelm to overdrive.

These tools combine to get you exceptionally optimized results. If you want to solve what seems like hundreds of problems, first you need the Mindfulness to see that they’re actually symptoms. Then, continuing the process, you’ll have a system that works every time. Success is all about how artfully this process is carried out. Doing it on your own can be tricky; we all have blindspots; that’s why you need a coach well-versed and experienced in this specific process.

     - Ian J. Blei


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Special Offer - Summer Sessions

As this proved helpful for people last month, I'm going to re-run this
Special Offer

I'm going to give away 3 complimentary coaching sessions to the first 3 people to email me with this month's "secret word."  Ready?

The secret word for August is "Woodstock." Just put that in your email, along with your contact info so we can schedule.

Each session is a normally a $187.00 value, and will be worth much more to you in life-changing ways.  Good luck!

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Quick Communication Tip

R.A.R.E. (Take II)

I’m repeating this concept from our last newsletter, because it’s so strongly related to today’s theme. This time, we’ll plug those tools where they fit into the process I call RARE, (Recognize, Arrest, Replace, and Evolve.) We start with Mindfulness which allows us to be able to pay attention to what’s going on in a conscious manner. Then our Somatic Awareness helps us to Recognize when we're about to engage in something that isn’t serving us, such as an old habit. That enables us to Arrest that habit or behavior before we engage in it, which is often called a "pattern interrupt."

The next step becomes that much more important, because at this stage, we're basically standing poised on one foot. Nature abhors a void, so we need to Replace that old habit with a new one. This is where Cognitive Linguistics steps in. We use our inner dialogue to establish a Replacement habit that serves us. This part is one of the more creative aspects of good coaching.

The last letter is for Evolve, because over time (usually between 21 and 28 days) we will have successfully re-wired our brain from the old way of doing things or thinking (habit) to the new way, and from a manner of being or communicating that didn't serve us, to one that does serve us.


Want to learn more about how your communication can hold you back or catapult you forward?  Come visit the web site, or better yet, contact me and see how we can design a program to fit your needs and desired outcomes.


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Resource Links:


Conscious Communication - the podcast series

Melissa Risdon's Raving Fan Radio Show:
Ian Blei on the
Integram (TM) -understanding ourselves, each other, and our relationships

KG Stiles: "Conversations that Enlighten and Heal"
Ian Blei on Kind Ambition and the
Integram (TM)

Kind Ambition - 2nd Edition

Got Blog? c
ome visit the Blog.

Character Driven - Ever want to create characters that were so believable, that people forgot they were characters?
 


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Welcome to the Conscious Communication Chronicle, sharing how Conscious Communication results in success, and how you can achieve yours.   Enjoy!

 

 



The Optimizer
Ian Blei,
Director of the
Institute for Integral Enneagram Studies and
President of
Optimized Results
415.826.0478

 

 

Kind Ambition

Click HERE

 

 

 

 


Kind Ambition:
Practical Steps
to Achieve Success
 Without Losing Your Soul
 

 

 

Kind Ambition
Fan Page
now on
 FACEBOOK

 

 

Kind Ambition is about you having the tools to slide over to the driver’s seat of your own life.  Circumstances will always be changing, seemingly thwarting our plans, but we don’t have to be  thrown around by them. You can be in charge of your choices and actions more than you might imagine - yet.

 

Kind Ambition is written for you, as a practical guide you can use right now.  It is a collection of  insights and actions designed to help you move forward and get more out of your life at home and at work.  The chapters hold to a formula of first giving you a new way to look at things, then offering you tangible Action Steps to try them out, and finally some things to notice when you do.

 

 

 

 

Kind words for “Kind Ambition”

 

"If you are interested in success, whether it is in running a large organization, a small business, or leading a satisfying life, you will find a right blend of rules, wisdom and wit in a digestible fashion that will serve to accomplish your objectives. The notion that kindness can be blended with ambition and made to work and serve the "bottom line" is enlightening, uplifting and satisfying."

-Steven Kiefel – CEO, Red Pill Media

 

 

 

“An easy to use guide for anyone who wants to achieve real  growth and success. His sensible and practical tactics solve age-old challenges with real, how-to solutions. Best of all, Ian lives his work!”

-Romanus Wolter - Author: Kick Start Your Dream Business
Success Coach Columnist: Entrepreneur Magazine
Radio Host: Syndicated Kick Start Guy Segment

 

 

 

" We all face obstacles in our lives and careers. Some of these come from within, subverting our conscious intentions. The  good news is: they can be overcome.  The techniques and processes found in this book will help you on your way."

-Margaret Heffernan – Author: The Naked Truth: A Working Woman's

 Manifesto on Business and What Really Matters

Syndicated Columnist: Fast Company Magazine

 

 

 

“A scientifically-based, spiritually-awake, (and smart and funny) guide to making the most of your life.  Ian Blei provides the know-how, the inspiration, the structure and all the tools you need in  this straightforward and inspirational book.”

     -Lisa Betts-LaCroix, Past President of SF Coaches
Star of Unapix film, “Dance Me Outside”

 

 

 

" Ian Blei shares his deep insights in simple and straightforward ways.  His work continues to inspire me whenever I feel I'm getting stuck in some area of my life."

-Roy King, III , Director Pacific Development Partners

 

 

 

   

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