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August

2010

 
The Treasure Trove Within
                 Part II

Conscious Communication: bringing communication up from "auto-pilot" and reactive, to thoughtful, responsive, and above all, intentional.

  No time? Listen to the  podcast (7:26 min.) in the background while you file, exercise, ride to work, etc.

 

The Treasure Trove Within, part II
(click for podcast)

 

In using your natural resources (The Treasure Trove Within) to further yourself in life, it’s imperative to your success that you're looking in the right treasure chest. Using someone else’s natural resources won’t work.  This is why I use the Enneagram as an initial assessment tool in my coaching programs.  Accurately assessing your type on the Enneagram (the lens through which we see the world around us, take in, and sort stimuli) is very powerful. The consequences of being mis-typed by yourself or anyone else are at the least time-wasters, and potentially self-defeating.

 

When accurately assessed, knowing our typology opens  doors. We know what natural resources we have to work with, we know our motivations, drivers, stumbling blocks, and most of all, we have the ability to raise unconscious compulsions to consciousness. Once there, we can take back our power.

 

Knowing your type gives you a clear path - your clear path – to growth and development, rather than following some self-proclaimed expert's path. It also illuminates our individual linguistics, or how we communicate with ourselves and each other. This can change our relationships on a level that is genuinely mind-blowing.

 

For those of you not familiar with it, the basic structure of this model is pretty straightforward.  Imagine you and eight friends are sitting around a circle by the beach.  Each of you has a slightly different perspective, a different viewpoint, and likewise different blindspots as well.  Our perspective becomes our own version of "reality," and we interpret everything through that point of view.  Give each of these positions a number like a clock face, and you have a pretty good image of the model.

 

Why is accurate typing so difficult? There are many reasons, but the one common element that I've seen time and time again is candidly a lack of real depth. Character traits can look identical on the surface, but be driven by very different motivations underneath. The difference between being a nurturing, giving, helpful person because it’s how you were brought up to be, and doing it because of an internal need is the difference between completely different types.

 

So how can you increase the accuracy of your assessment, and get Optimized Results from knowing your type? There are three very important things to keep in mind while doing any Enneagram assessment.

 

1. Everyone Reflects Every Type
We may be able to relate to all Nine Types, but one Type is your primary lens. If you threw a rubber ball into a box, it would likely bounce off of every wall, but it would hit one wall first. That would be your Primary Type. From there, we are an amalgam of Five Types: your Primary, your two adjacent Wings, (the friends sitting on either side of you, who have differing levels of influence) how you see things when Stressed, and how you see them when feeling confident, as if you got up and sat in another position. These all exert their influence in fluid and dynamic ways depending upon life circumstances, and your own blend is what makes you unique, yet allows for deeply shared experience.

 

2. Age and Experience – Think of yourself as you were at age 25 or younger.
As we progress through our lives, we take on and learn coping strategies from those around us. We're sort of like a giant snowball rolling downhill picking up more and more snow, and yet that core in the very center (which is still you) hasn’t changed. It can be hard to sort out what your own original strategies are unless you place yourself at an age before this process got under way. This is the age that people take their original coping strategies “on the road,” and the “cross-contamination” that confuses your assessment usually begins there.

 

3. Motivation not Behavior – Don’t focus on what you do. Focus on why you do it.
This is the most important part to keep in mind.  The real magic of the Enneagram is how it addresses who you are on a much deeper level than defining yourself by your actions. You and I could do the exact same thing for completely different reasons, thus the behavior itself doesn’t tell us much. As I mentioned earlier, if you like to help people, it could be because it's "the right thing to do," or it could be a compulsion that you don't even think about.  It's not about what you do, but why you do it.

 

There are many Enneagram Assessments on the Web (click for mine), but please don’t rush the judgment. If it doesn't fit you, an inaccurate assessment can do more harm than good. My FAQ page may help with some questions if you get stuck, and if you're still confused, please contact me. You having access to your own Treasure Trove will catapult you forward in life, and helping you do that is my mission.


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Quick Communication Tip

 

Inclusive Language, part II

Our different worldviews and perspectives drive having different language styles as well.  The language styles reflect how we organize our motivations and drivers.  What is important to each of us is slightly different, and those differences get in the way of our being able to communicate effectively with one another.

Once again, although we can divide our worldviews into nine completely different communication styles, we can simplify our approach by including three main areas.  What drives us can be divided into autonomy, (identity) mastery, (security) and purpose.  Because we have more than one influencing "lens," you want to ensure that you're addressing each of these areas when enrolling others or appealing to their motivations.  These run from the foundation to the roof tiles of Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs.


Want to learn more about how your communication can hold you back or catapult you forward?  Come visit the web site, or better yet, contact me and see how we can design a program to fit your needs and desired outcomes.


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Resource Links:


Conscious Communication - the podcast series

KG Stiles: "Conversations that Enlighten and Heal"
Ian Blei on Kind Ambition and the
Integram (TM)

Personal Life Media - "Coaching the Life Coach:"
Communication Excellence (Podcast Snippets)
Communication Excellence (full interview)


Interview Podcast for Evolutionary Radio w/ J. McClain

Kind Ambition -
2nd Edition now available

Got Blog? c
ome visit the Blog.

Character Driven - Ever want to create characters that were so believable, that people forgot they were characters?

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Welcome to the Conscious Communication Chronicle, sharing how Conscious Communication results in success, and how you can achieve yours.   Enjoy!

 

 



The Optimizer
Ian Blei,
Director of the
Institute for Integral Enneagram Studies and
President of
Optimized Results
415.826.0478

 

 

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