Conscious Communication: bringing communication
up from "auto-pilot" and reactive, to thoughtful, responsive, and above
in the background while you file, exercise, ride to work, etc.
Quick Communication Tip
The Treasure Trove Within
A wildly misleading trend causing undue stress needs to be stopped. There
are countless gurus standing up and telling us to "be like me, do as I
say," as they are "successful, have all the answers," and so on. The
truth is, that what may work for me, may not work for you. We're not the
same people. If everyone was like Dr. Phil, Anthony Robbins, or Oprah,
then doing exactly what they say and modeling your way of being in the
world after them would make sense. But even those three people
are so different, who do you listen to? They're telling you to do
What's even worse is how much we beat ourselves up for failing to
become successful when we're trying to model someone else. You can give
yourself a break. That game is rigged!
You'll never out-do someone else at being them. Furthermore, you at
your best will be far more successful than any version of someone else
you're told you should be.
Your own style can be very different than any stereotype of a "successful" person,
and that difference is exactly what can take you to real success. You
have both vices and virtues that make up your world-view, your
perspective, and how you function in the world. You can use the tools
you have to Optimize your Results, rather than chasing after someone
Coaching is a great way to work on self-improvement, but the same
traps can be found here as well. You may have issues with
accountability, goal-setting, and prioritizing or not. Depending
upon your worldview, your issues could be completely different than
"standard coaching issues," which would have you working on what isn't
What will help you is identifying your best virtues and how to
concentrate on bringing those to the forefront, while identifying your
vices, and how to use them as well. Yes, you can use your vices, when
they are lifted from compulsions to conscious choices.
The Real You Behind The Mask
Behind that mask that you put on; the "game face," protecting yourself
from feeling vulnerable, is the you who has real dreams, hopes, fears
and aspirations. That is an exciting person worth paying attention to.
Try to put aside everything you've been told about not being who you
need to be. You are exactly who you need to be. The only thing
potentially holding you back is not knowing what your resources are, or
maybe how to access them yet.
Matching Your Innate Skills to the
Task at Hand
We all have certain innate skills that result from our world-view or
perspective, and when we match them to our tasks, we have greater
resources to work with. Here are a few examples of world-views and how
they can offer you the tools you need:
Do you find that you are somewhat obsessive about things being done
right? Does this go along with a sense of ethical righteousness that
irks you when others don't pull their weight? This world-view goes
hand-in-hand with an uncanny ability to organize information. Do you see
how this could be the best resource to bring to certain tasks?
Do you care deeply about others being taken care of, or achieving their
potential? Does this go along with a sense of being able to empathically
read their needs? Do you see how Nordstrom's and Mary Kay used this
attribute to achieve success?
Are you competitive, goal-oriented, linear, people-oriented, and busy?
Does this go along with a sense of impatience, drive, and wanting to
look good? Do you see how these traits worked for Anthony Robbins and
How about those of you who can always see how something won't work? You
test, you challenge, you question everything. Do you see how
problem-solving or safety issues could benefit from your inherent skills
and how you perceive the world around you?
Being yourself and using your own inherent skills will always take you
further than copying someone else's way. Plus, when you do succeed, you'll
know it was really you who did it!
Understanding the nuances of these types and the amazing applications
that are yours for the taking was the basis for Optimized Results
creating nine different coaching programs. Each type or worldview needs
their own approach to achieving their own best results. You need
the key to your own Treasure Trove; the Treasure Trove Within.
Quick Communication Tip
One of the results of having such different worldviews and perspectives,
is that we actually have different languages as well. We use
different imagery, metaphors, pacing, and most important of all:
different organizational motifs.
Making a decision about something, whether it's a purchase or deciding
to take an action comes from this organizational style we have.
Although it can be divided up into nine completely different
communication styles, you can simplify your approach by making sure you
hit the three largest factions. People make these decisions based
upon how it will affect their identity, their safety, or a sense of
purpose or precedent (what happened before.) If you make sure to
hit each of these in whatever you are trying to convey, you will connect
with the bulk of your audience.
Want to learn more about how your communication can hold you back or
catapult you forward? Come visit the
or better yet,
contact me and see how we can design a program to fit your needs and desired outcomes.
- the podcast series
KG Stiles: "Conversations that Enlighten and Heal"
Ian Blei on Kind Ambition and the
Personal Life Media -
"Coaching the Life Coach:"
Communication Excellence (full interview)
for Evolutionary Radio w/ J. McClain
2nd Edition now available
visit the Blog.
Ever want to create
characters that were so believable, that people forgot they were
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