Home

What We Do

How It Works

About Us

Track Record

Resources

Newsletter

FAQs

Contact


February
2007


Early Reflections
and Feedback Loops

 

Welcome to the Conscious Communication Chronicle, sharing how Conscious Communication results in success, and how you can achieve yours.   Enjoy!

 



Ian Blei,
Founder of
Optimized Results
 

Upcoming Seminars & Events:

 

Make this your best,
most connected Valentine's Day EVER!!
 

 

"Optimize Your Communications for Success"


Thursday, Feb. 8th

Fort Mason Center

the Gatehouse
Marina Blvd. at Buchanan St
San Francisco

7:00pm-8:30pm

More Info

 

 

"Leverage the Power of You"


Tuesday, Feb. 13th
Fort Mason Center

 the Gatehouse
Marina Blvd. at Buchanan St
San Francisco

7:00pm-8:30pm 
More Info
 

 

AMTA-CA

2007 Educational Conference
Keynote Address
San Jose, CA
March 30 - April 1, 2007

more info 

 

Podcast for Evolutionary Radio w/ Jason McClain.

"Kind Ambition"

2nd Edition now available

 

 

 

 


Also available at:
Browser Books
 2195 Fillmore St.
San Francisco, CA
 

Kind Ambition:
Practical Steps

to Achieve Success
 Without Losing Your Soul
 

Kind Ambition is about you having the tools to slide over to the driver’s seat of your own life.  Circumstances will always be changing, seemingly thwarting our plans, but we don’t have to be  thrown around by them. You can be in charge of your choices and actions more than you might imagine - yet.

Kind Ambition is written for you, as a practical guide you can use right now.  It is a collection of  insights and actions designed to help you move forward and get more out of your life at home and at work.  The chapters hold to a formula of first giving you a new way to look at things, then offering you tangible Action Steps to try them out, and finally some things to notice when you do.

Come visit our site
and read excerpts from

 "Kind Ambition
Practical Steps to Achieve Success Without Losing Your Soul"
***FREE!***

 

 

 

Got Blog?

come visit the Blog

 

 

 

 

Ever want to create characters that were so believable, that people forgot they were characters?
Check out our new site:

www.character-driven.com

 

 
Subscribe to the Conscious Communication Chronicle

Email:

 

Conscious Communication: bringing communication up from "auto-pilot" and reactive, to thoughtful, responsive, and above all, intentional.

 

February is a month with many wonderful reasons for reflection.  We're officially into the new year, we have a month's worth of results to look back on, we have two presidents' birthdays, the NASCAR season starts, and of course, Valentine's Day.

 

Doing my communications-centric and personal performance-centric seminars within a week of one another and Valentine’s Day inspired me to write about a theme common to each.  What can we do from a language and personal tools perspective to positively impact our relationships? 

 

We relate to one another (and ourselves) primarily through language (interpersonal and internal).  Our internal voices are a choir of perspectives, that we (and our partners) rarely clarify or distinguish.  The unconscious interplay is a system of reflections and cascading feedback loops.  This is the number one issue creating conflict in couples. 

 

 

It Starts In Your Head

What we may not be aware of, is how we talk to ourselves, and how that directly impacts how we talk with one another.  If I drive myself to excellence, and get really mad at myself when I make a mistake, is there any question as to whether or not I do that to others?  Perhaps to someone I really care about?  Holding ourselves to impossible standards has some nasty side-effects when we’re not staying conscious and aware.

 

Try some of the pattern interruption from last month’s article.  Catch yourself when you are about to rip into yourself, and re-frame your language as if you were talking to a small child.  Feel the difference inside you.  Let yourself have that compassion; it’s contagious.

 

 

That Choir Again

I’ve mentioned how we embody several voices and perspectives, some of which are in direct opposition, and some of which are merely out of sync with one another.  Our life experience and upbringing influence the relative strength or volume of any of these voices. 

 

We’re rarely aware of them as separate voices, whose points of view may need to be balanced and integrated within our cranial choir.

 

Furthermore, your choir combined with another person’s choir create many combinations of potential reflections, oppositions, and asynchronous perspectives.

 

 

Bad Mirror!  Bad, Bad Mirror!

Have you ever heard the expression, “exactly what attracts you to someone, will end up driving you crazy?”  When we have a perspective living within us that we haven’t entirely come to understand or integrate, we are both attracted and repelled by it as it is reflected in others. 

 

Again, this is usually under our radar, so we’re mostly just aware of a “feeling” that we get.  When these voices and perspectives aren’t identified and recognized for who they are, there is a nebulous nature to our internal story.  The vagueness contributes to our unease, when we don’t know why we feel this way, or what’s really bothering us.

 

Conversely, when we do know where these voices or perspectives are coming from, we can un-hook ourselves from merely reacting to them.  We can see that there’s a part of our self that we’re afraid is flaky, and it looks just like that part of our mate who is fun and spontaneous.

 

We hear the critical voice in our head that we can’t stand, when a friend embodies a rigidly uncompromising point of view.  We hear our own anxiety when someone expresses worry.  We cringe over someone else’s competitiveness, when maybe it just hit too close to home.

 

 

Making this a great Valentine’s Day

So what can you do right now to give your relationships a quantum boost?  How can you meet another person in their experience with such depth and clarity that they feel more “heard” than ever before?

 

Un-hooking yourself from reacting to reflections is actually pretty simple, but of course, not always easy.

 

The first thing you need to do is know what your own voices and perspectives are, so you can recognize when you are seeing reflections of them.

 

This is the “tea” in your tea cup.  Your partner has their cup full of their own “tea” as well.  When you approach an interaction, you can empty your tea cup first, thus allowing room for their tea to fill it.  If you aren’t familiar with the Zen story about the “Empty Cup,” you can get a quick refresher here.

 

If any of this is the slightest bit confusing, and you're going to be in San Francisco over the next two weeks, all will be revealed in the February seminars.  My 2/8 seminar will pursue the language aspects, and the 2/13 seminar will pursue the embodied characteristic aspects of meeting another person in their experience, without tracking the mud of our own histories across their psyches.

 

****************

 

Kind words for “Kind Ambition”

"If you are interested in success, whether it is in running a large organization, a small business, or leading a satisfying life, you will find a right blend of rules, wisdom and wit in a digestible fashion that will serve to accomplish your objectives. The notion that kindness can be blended with ambition and made to work and serve the "bottom line" is enlightening, uplifting and satisfying."

-Steven Kiefel – CEO, Red Pill Media

 

“An easy to use guide for anyone who wants to achieve real
 growth and success. His sensible and practical tactics
solve age-old challenges with real, how-to solutions. Best of all, Ian lives his work!”

-Romanus Wolter - Author: Kick Start Your Dream Business
Success Coach Columnist: Entrepreneur Magazine
Radio Host: Syndicated Kick Start Guy Segment

 

" We all face obstacles in our lives and careers. Some of these come from within, subverting our conscious intentions. The  good news is: they can be overcome.  The techniques and processes found in this book will help you on your way."

-Margaret Heffernan – Author: The Naked Truth: A Working Woman's

 Manifesto on Business and What Really Matters

Syndicated Columnist: Fast Company Magazine

 

“A scientifically-based, spiritually-awake, (and smart and funny) guide to making the most of your life.  Ian Blei provides the know-how, the inspiration, the structure and all the tools you need in  this straightforward and inspirational book.”

                       -Lisa Betts-LaCroix, Past President of SF Coaches
Star of Unapix film, “Dance Me Outside”

 

" Ian Blei shares his deep insights in simple and straightforward ways.  His work continues to inspire me whenever I feel I'm getting stuck in some area of my life."

-Roy King, III, Director Pacific Development Partners

 

 

  What We Do    |    How It Works   |    About Us    |    Success Stories    |     Resources    |    FAQs

© 2001- 2009 Optimized Results. All Rights Reserved     205 Chattanooga St.   San Francisco, CA 94114     415.826.0478