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January 2007


Just Don't Do It!

 

 

Welcome to the Conscious Communication Chronicle, sharing how Conscious Communication results in success, and how you can achieve yours.   Enjoy!

 



Ian Blei,
Founder of
Optimized Results
 

Upcoming Seminars & Events:

 

 

"Optimize Your Communications for Success"

-Private Workshop-
for Coldwell Banker

Asilomar Conference Grounds
Pacific Grove, CA

January 2007

more info 

 

 

"Optimize Your Communications for Success"


Thursday, Feb. 8th

Fort Mason Center

the Gatehouse
Marina Blvd. at Buchanan St
San Francisco

7:00pm-8:30pm

More Info

 

 

"Leverage the Power of You"


Make this your best,
most connected Valentine's Day EVER!!
Tuesday, Feb. 13th
Fort Mason Center

 the Gatehouse
Marina Blvd. at Buchanan St
San Francisco

7:00pm-8:30pm 
More Info
 

 

Holistic Business Approach

to Real Estate

-Private Seminar-
First National Title Co.
Sonoma County, CA
January, 2007

more info 

 

Podcast for Evolutionary Radio w/ Jason McClain.

"Kind Ambition"  New Year's Sale: Buy one copy at $15, and get a second copy for only $5 more.

In addition, every order of 10 copies will include an 11th copy FREE.

 

2nd Edition now available

 

 

 

 


Also available at:
Browser Books
 2195 Fillmore St.
San Francisco, CA
 

Kind Ambition:
Practical Steps

to Achieve Success
 Without Losing Your Soul
 

Kind Ambition is about you having the tools to slide over to the driver’s seat of your own life.  Circumstances will always be changing, seemingly thwarting our plans, but we don’t have to be  thrown around by them. You can be in charge of your choices and actions more than you might imagine - yet.

Kind Ambition is written for you, as a practical guide you can use right now.  It is a collection of  insights and actions designed to help you move forward and get more out of your life at home and at work.  The chapters hold to a formula of first giving you a new way to look at things, then offering you tangible Action Steps to try them out, and finally some things to notice when you do.

Come visit our site
and read excerpts from

 "Kind Ambition
Practical Steps to Achieve Success Without Losing Your Soul"
***FREE!***

 

 

 

Got Blog?

come visit the Blog

 

 

 

 

Ever want to create characters that were so believable, that people forgot they were characters?
Check out our new site:

www.character-driven.com

 

 

Subscribe to the Conscious Communication Chronicle

Email:

 

 

 

Conscious Communication: bringing communication up from "auto-pilot" and reactive, to thoughtful, responsive, and above all, intentional.

 

Ah the oversimplified, Dr. Phil approach to change: just stop doing what you're doing.  On the face of it, the oversimplification is ridiculous, however there is a fundamental aspect of real change that starts here.

 

These newsletters explore bringing consciousness to your communication; and not to be limiting, consciousness to your life.  The very first step of making any kind of change begins with awareness, and yes consciousness.  We have to recognize what we're doing, (or not doing) especially when we're not getting our desired outcome.  If you've made some New Year's Resolutions, we're going to look at how you can make them a reality.

 

The first stumbling point is often recognizing our behavior as we step over a line, and thinking how much we wish we didn't do that.  We say we want to change, we say we can't change, we say it's just the way we are, we say we wish we could change, and then we proceed as usual.  With this added consciousness, we now beat ourselves up a little too, because we "should" do what we say we want to do, and shaming ourselves is ever so empowering - not!  And yes, this is why even making New Year's Resolutions has dropped by 50% over the last few years.  Why make them, when you're only going to break them and feel badly about yourself? 

 

Obviously there's another piece to this.  Probably the hardest part of stopping the ball from rolling downhill mirrors the physics of stopping that ball; Newton's first two laws of motion (forgive my abridgement in the name of simplification).  First, a body at rest remains at rest, and a body in motion continues to move until an external force acts upon it.   Second, the rate of change of momentum of a body is directly proportional to the impressed force and in the direction in which the force acts.

 

In other words, it isn't going to stop happening by itself.  Once we recognize that we "explode" when we don't want to, or use our tongues like razors, we have to exert another force, significant enough to alter if not stop the course of our behavior.

 

 

Exemplum Interruptus

The first step after the conscious recognition of the pattern, is to interrupt the pattern.  Every time we repeat a behavior, we reinforce the neural pathways that map it in our brains.  Even when we are chiding ourselves about "doing it again!" we are building stronger and deeper neural paths, making it harder and harder for our brains to take another route.

 

This can be as simple as the internal dialogue, where you tell yourself you can't change, (and make it so) all the way up to complex rationalizations for why the status quo is unchangeable (external circumstances, people, genetics, astrology, etc.)

 

We actually have to start with the simple physics of it, and apply enough force to the ball rolling downhill, that we change its course or stop it in its tracks.  Talk to anyone who has successfully kicked cigarettes or any major addiction; you must interrupt your patterns.  Any approach where the patterns survive (tapering off, for example) simply don't work.  We have to stop "going off" on people cold turkey.

 

 

New Patterns

Once we interrupt the old pattern, it can feel odd leaving a void.  Either we replace it with a new pattern, or we'll likely slide back to the old pattern just to fill the space.  If you can create a pattern where you can fully appreciate that space, and be comfortable there, go for it.  Otherwise, look at what you want to be doing, rather than what you have been doing.

 

If you want to have more compassion for someone who has historically pushed your buttons, you need to "cut the red wire" from the buttons, and then consciously respond with the compassion you aspire toward.

 

In the beginning, you will not be adept, and this is both normal and necessary.  We're so adept at doing [insert bad habit] in a destructive manner, that we don't even need to be conscious.  Now, it's a whole new behavior/game, and you have to consciously concentrate just to be okay at it.

 

Over time you'll develop new neural pathways, and you'll become much more adept.  Eventually, you may become so adept at the new way of being, that you may become somewhat unconscious again - albeit with healthier patterns.  If you want to continue evolving, don't get too complacent.  Stay in the conscious stage, and you'll be able to continue changing your behavior and your world, because you'll be directly involved in it.

 

Remember, the next time you're about to blow your stack, or make up a story in your head to explain someone else's behavior, just don't do it!

 

The public seminars at Fort Mason are back!  If you've never been, now's your chance.  If you have been, come back and bring your friends, partners, family; your relationships will thank you, and you'll be glad you came.

 

****************

 

“Kind Ambition” Featured in

Women's Day Magazine!!!

 

 

"If you are interested in success, whether it is in running a large organization, a small business, or leading a satisfying life, you will find a right blend of rules, wisdom and wit in a digestible fashion that will serve to accomplish your objectives. The notion that kindness can be blended with ambition and made to work and serve the "bottom line" is enlightening, uplifting and satisfying."

-Steven Kiefel – CEO, Red Pill Media

 

“An easy to use guide for anyone who wants to achieve real
 growth and success. His sensible and practical tactics
solve age-old challenges with real, how-to solutions. Best of all, Ian lives his work!”

-Romanus Wolter - Author: Kick Start Your Dream Business
Success Coach Columnist: Entrepreneur Magazine
Radio Host: Syndicated Kick Start Guy Segment

 

" We all face obstacles in our lives and careers. Some of these
 come from within, subverting our conscious intentions. The
 good news is: they can be overcome.  The techniques and
 processes found in this book will help you on your way."

-Margaret Heffernan – Author: The Naked Truth: A Working Woman's

 Manifesto on Business and What Really Matters

Syndicated Columnist: Fast Company Magazine

 

“A scientifically-based, spiritually-awake, (and smart and funny) guide to making the most of your life.  Ian Blei provides the know-how, the inspiration, the structure and all the tools you need in  this straightforward and inspirational book.”

                       -Lisa Betts-LaCroix, Past President of SF Coaches
Star of Unapix film, “Dance Me Outside”

 

" Ian Blei shares his deep insights in simple and straightforward ways.  His work continues to inspire me whenever I feel I'm getting stuck in some area of my life."

-Roy King, III, Director Pacific Development Partners

 

 

 

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