an Integral Enneagram of Consciousness; a model of consciousness, including
all aspects, for designing practical
paths of personal development and evolution.
Quick Links: so you
can jump to any section
in the background while you file, exercise, ride to work, etc.
if you haven't visited ianblei.com
yet, check it out. Responsive code for phones and tablets. let me know
what you think!
10 Minutes a Day to Your Best Life
was a huge
success, with requests to do it again.
Lots of requests for a weekend, so please let me know how you feel about
Saturday vs. Sunday, and what would be a good time to do it? Usually
takes 6 weeks to get the word out, so figuring early December?
Framework of Understanding
Right and Wrong
There seems to be
one single causal factor behind virtually every conflict or
misunderstanding clients and friends bring to me, regardless of how much
personal development work they’ve done. We look at the world around us
through very specific lenses and filters, and yet act as if what we’re
perceiving and interpreting is objective reality. Nothing could
be farther from the truth. Each of us has a Framework of Understanding
that perceptions must filter through. This Framework is made up of
everything from inherent operating system characteristics to
experiential “lessons learned,” to simple peer, parental, and media
Imagine going through life unable to turn your head or move your eyes
from one fixed position. Pretty limiting, right? You’ve probably been
frustrated by someone not being able to see things from your
perspective, especially when your perspective seems so reasonable, and
of course “right.” Is it possible that someone else had that experience
we boil it down to the core of most arguments, doesn’t it come down to
something like: “I’m right, no I’m right?” As silly as this sounds when
we look at it directly, we unconsciously get stuck in it, obstructing
communication, cooperation, and collaboration. We see The Way to
do or see something, so anything different must be wrong.
This also limits our ability to convey ideas, as we can get stuck
conveying them in only one way. If you don’t understand, then you’re
wrong in how you’re listening, or wrong in how you’re interpreting what
I’m saying. Rather than look at things from another angle and perhaps
re-stating in a way that you might understand, I could move tangentially
into judgment, and lose any opportunity to really communicate or work
with you toward a common solution.
Perception Follows Perspective
Let’s back up a
little bit to see how our original premise was inaccurate. When we’re
focused on how we’re seeing something being objective reality, we’re
forgetting that what we perceive is driven by our perspective. One of my
well-worn examples of this is the perception of a driver swerving as he
drives down the street. From one perspective, we just see him swerving,
and perceive him being a bad driver. From another perspective we see the
puppy that ran into the street, and we perceive him as having great
perception changed when our perspective changed. They’re inextricably
linked to one another. Our perspective is influenced by new information,
so when we learn more about something our perspective changes. Since our
perceptions are tied to our perspectives, our perceptions change too.
This means that our perception can’t be the only objective reality. It
must be subjective; subject to that shift in perspective. This is
enormously freeing, because now we know we don’t have to be so locked
into one way of seeing things.
Maybe My Way is Several Ways
There are many
reasons our perspectives change. Sometimes it’s about having more
information, sometimes it’s about circumstances, and sometimes it’s
about our emotional state. When we’re in stress or “survival mode,” we
see things very differently than when things are going smoothly. This
means that the exact same thing can look different to us, depending upon
what’s going on. Something that’s no big deal when life is running
smoothly can look huge when things are rough. This shows that we have
multiple perceptions, right in line with our multiple perspectives.
Staying conscious and aware of having these multiple ways of
seeing things is where we can make a huge difference in our interactions
with others. The more open and flexible we are with our assertions
of how things are, or how they need to be done, the more we’re able to
see others’ ways as being valid too. If something that looks scary to
you on Monday can look fun on Saturday, why can’t it look fun to someone
else on Monday?
This totally opens the door to better interactions and communication.
The more we remember that we have different perspectives, the easier it
is to see another person having different perspectives too. When we can
see from their perspective, we can understand their perception, reduce
conflict, and communicate with them more easily. Not only will we
communicate with them more easily, we’ll connect with them on a deeper
level as well, as judgment melts into understanding. When we’re less
invested in being right and them being wrong, we often learn a lot too.
How’s that for a win-win scenario?
Want to learn more about how to become the best you possible?
Come visit the
or better yet,
contact me and see how we can design a program to fit your needs and desired outcomes.
- Ian J. Blei
November means it's time for Thanksgiving, so gratitude becomes the
watchword for the month. In that spirit of gratitude, I'm offering 3
complimentary Dynamic Discovery Sessions (1 session each) to the first 3
people (who haven't already worked with me) who email me this month's
secret word: "Gratitude." Just put "Gratitude" in the Subject Line of
your email, along with your contact info, and we'll schedule your
story short I was promoted twice quite quickly after working with Ian
and have the tools needed to grow and manage my ever expanding team. I
highly recommend Ian to anyone looking for personal and professional
D.D.., Regional Sales Director, West-USAe.
Each session is
normally a $187.00 value, and will be worth much more to you in
life-changing ways. Good luck!
The Integram (TM)
- the podcast series
AMP: Authentic Man Podcast:
a lively conversation between Ian Blei and Executive Director Casey
Capshaw, covering everything from intimacy to video games.
Melissa Risdon's Raving Fan Radio Show:
Ian Blei on the
ourselves, each other, and our relationships
KG Stiles: "Conversations that Enlighten and Heal"
Ian Blei on Kind Ambition and the
visit the Blog.
Subscribe to the Integram
Welcome to the Integram, where consciousness meets
Institute for Integral Enneagram
Without Losing Your Soul
about you having
the tools to slide over to the
driver’s seat of your
Circumstances will always be
changing, seemingly thwarting
our plans, but we don’t have to be
thrown around by them. You can
charge of your choices and actions more than you might imagine - yet.
is written for you,
as a practical guide you can
right now. It is a collection of
insights and actions designed to help
you move forward and get more out
of your life at home and at work.
The chapters hold to a formula of
first giving you a new way to look at
things, then offering you tangible
Action Steps to try them out, and
finally some things to notice when you do.
Kind words for
"If you are interested in success, whether it is in running a large
organization, a small business, or leading a satisfying life, you will
find a right blend of rules, wisdom and wit in a digestible fashion that
will serve to accomplish your objectives. The notion that kindness can
be blended with ambition and made to work and serve the "bottom line" is
enlightening, uplifting and satisfying."
-Steven Kiefel – CEO, Red Pill Media
“An easy to use guide for anyone who wants to
growth and success. His sensible and practical tactics
solve age-old challenges with real, how-to solutions. Best of all, Ian
lives his work!”
-Romanus Wolter -
Author: Kick Start Your Dream Business
Success Coach Columnist: Entrepreneur Magazine
Radio Host: Syndicated Kick Start Guy Segment
We all face obstacles in our lives and careers. Some of these come from within, subverting our conscious intentions. The
good news is: they can be overcome. The techniques and processes found in this book will help you on your way."
-Margaret Heffernan – Author: The Naked Truth: A Working Woman's
Manifesto on Business and What Really Matters
Syndicated Columnist: Fast
scientifically-based, spiritually-awake, (and smart and funny) guide to
making the most of your life. Ian Blei provides the know-how, the
inspiration, the structure and all the tools you need in this
-Lisa Betts-LaCroix, Past
President of SF Coaches
Star of Unapix film,
“Dance Me Outside”
Ian Blei shares his deep insights in simple and straightforward
ways. His work continues to inspire me whenever I feel I'm getting stuck in some area of my life."
-Roy King, III
Partner/Channel Marketing Manager - Skype