Conscious Communication: bringing communication
up from "auto-pilot" and reactive, to thoughtful, responsive, and above
in the background while you file, exercise, ride to work, etc.
Quick Communication Tip
The Owl and
The Owl and the
Ostrich represent two very different approaches to life.
The ostrich is known for hiding his head when sensing trouble,
much like a small child hiding his face behind his hands. The
rationale being “if I can’t see you, you can’t see me.”
As we get older, we
learn that doesn’t work, yet often continue to apply
that philosophy to our jobs and lives. We feel as though if we
don’t look at something disturbing, it won’t get to us. On the other
hand, the owl has phenomenal sight, and rotates her head almost
all the way around like a radar dish, to pick up every bit of
Although she doesn’t have to act on everything
she sees, no opportunity gets by her either.
There are a number of
reasons we avoid pursuing information, even when
we know it’s in our best interest. We do similar things for
different reasons as often as we do different things for the same
reasons. Our motivations are driven by the way we see and
understand the world around us. Here are some solutions to
the more popular reasons for putting our heads in the sand.
Fear may be one of the most popular reasons for avoidance.
Either we’re afraid of what we’ll see, what we’ll have to
change, embarrassing ourselves, or what we knew all along,
but didn’t want to admit to ourselves. Sometimes we’re afraid
to cause conflict, be criticized, get someone mad at us, or
create a rift of some sort. The boogie-man is only scary in the
dark. Avoiding keeps us in that dark. Think of checking in as turning on the lights.
Remember, we don’t have to act on everything we know, but the more we
know, the more opportunities we have available to us.
2. Breach the Boundaries
We're often very conscious of our comfort zones, and the
desire to not make others uncomfortable. Sometimes we’d
like to check in and verify our information, but it feels as if
we’d be prying or being too personal. Remind yourself of the
common goals you share. Those goals have priority over minor
discomforts. Pursuing information to help achieve
those goals can be done in a respectful manner, keeping the
goals pre-eminent. Everyone concerned will be in a better position
for having clear communication, and knowing what's going on.
Out of sight is
not out of mind, so go ahead and look
We get into a rhythm and have momentum in what we’re doing. To stop, look up, and gather information feels as if it takes us
off task and slows us down. We could just keep going, and unless something is terribly wrong, we may not have to deal with
the issue. Virtually nothing is solved by avoidance. Letting
something continue to go wrong almost ensures that the
problem will worsen. This phenomenon is well illustrated by the word:
To Sum Up
Your best solutions will always come from having as much information as possible. You don’t always need to act on that
information, but if action is necessary, you don’t want to miss
the opportunity. The owl doesn’t need to leave her perch every time she sees movement, but being aware means never missing a meal.
level of awareness can have a powerful and positive affect on your
life. One of my clients was having some difficulty several
years ago. Our work showed her how examining her efforts and
revenues would show where she was winning and drowning,
but she found herself avoiding this. Her internal “talk” told her
was dangerous and worse, that she should feel
getting into this position in the first place.
The great news is that as soon as she did look at the information, although the problem became real, so did the solution! We
illuminated a niche in the market that she was uniquely suited to fill. She catapulted her business from just another fish in the pond, to the
only fish of its kind in the pond.
The glory of the solution
always outshines a problem in the dark,
so go ahead; look around, find out and know what’s going on, and take
advantage of the opportunities that await you.
Whether you want to improve your effectiveness in business, in your home
life, in relationships, etc. the most important common element is you.
Knowing and being in command of your resources gives you the ability to
shift from reactive to proactive in every facet of your life.
- Ian J. Blei
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Quick Communication Tip
Know Before You Blow
You know people who talk off the
top of their head, or seemingly out of other parts of their body, and it
both annoys you and discredits them. Obviously this is not a
preferable communication style. It may sound obvious, but knowing
what we're talking about is extremely powerful.
Conversely, not knowing what we're talking about is both bad and
easy to fix. When we're communicating with someone about what they
feel, think, or know, let them talk. Ask questions, and keep your
assumptions and projections in check. When communicating about
objective facts and figures, do your homework. I heard someone say that laying off 15,000 people would save $50
million. Divide the numbers, and that's a little over $3,000 per
person. Know anyone who has that as an annual salary? Anyone paying
attention were calling him less friendly things than a liar. He lost
all credibility with his audience.
Want to learn more about how your communication can hold you back or
catapult you forward? Come visit the
or better yet,
contact me and see how we can design a program to fit your needs and desired outcomes.
- the podcast series
KG Stiles: "Conversations that Enlighten and Heal"
Ian Blei on Kind Ambition and the
visit the Blog.
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Institute for Integral Enneagram
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the tools to slide over to the
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Circumstances will always be
changing, seemingly thwarting
our plans, but we don’t have to be
thrown around by them. You can
charge of your choices and actions more than you might imagine - yet.
is written for you,
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right now. It is a collection of
insights and actions designed to help
you move forward and get more out
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The chapters hold to a formula of
first giving you a new way to look at
things, then offering you tangible
Action Steps to try them out, and
finally some things to notice when you do.
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"If you are interested in success, whether it is in running a large
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“An easy to use guide for anyone who wants to
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-Romanus Wolter -
Author: Kick Start Your Dream Business
Success Coach Columnist: Entrepreneur Magazine
Radio Host: Syndicated Kick Start Guy Segment
We all face obstacles in our lives and careers. Some of these come from within, subverting our conscious intentions. The
good news is: they can be overcome. The techniques and processes found in this book will help you on your way."
-Margaret Heffernan – Author: The Naked Truth: A Working Woman's
Manifesto on Business and What Really Matters
Syndicated Columnist: Fast
scientifically-based, spiritually-awake, (and smart and funny) guide to
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Star of Unapix film,
“Dance Me Outside”
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