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     Be the Pebble

The Integram: an Integral Enneagram of Consciousness;  a model of consciousness, including all aspects, for designing practical paths of personal development and evolution.

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10 Minutes a Day to Your Best Life
Tuesday, 9/8/15 from 6pm to 7:30pm
Hundred of people have already gotten amazing benefits from this fast, easy practice, and we're finally taking it live and public. Join us for a conversation that literally can change your life.  All the details.


Be the Pebble
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Identifying Identity
More and more, I’m seeing people realizing that they’ve been working their butts off, running as fast as they can down a road, and not really knowing where they’re going or why? Society, parents, bosses, peers all push checklists at us, filled with what we should do, but often pretty light on the why.

This accounts for just as much conflict and identity crisis in the business world. The easy answers are the material ones; it’s all to acquire stuff, and/or the money for stuff. The problem there, is that this isn’t a long-term motivator. There’s always something missing, and just acquiring more stuff doesn’t fill the hole.

We often forget that we’re at the heart of everything we’re doing. We’re the pebble hitting the water, sending ripples outward in all directions. Somehow we get into patterns where we’re expecting the ripples we see all around us to shape who we are. That’s backwards. The pebble shapes the ripples, the ripples don’t shape the pebble. If we want specific ripples, we’d better know the size, weight, and shape of the pebble. We need to know ourselves in a deeper way.

When we look at our identity, how do we decide what that is? There are labels and roles we can assume, but others can assume those labels and roles, so would they be us? What isn’t interchangeable, and can’t be taken away from us? Our Values and the beliefs and interpretations those Values create. This opens the next can of worms, because as important as they are, when you ask the average person about their deepest held Values, the answer doesn’t come quickly.

There are lots of ways I help people uncover and identify their Values, and one of the easiest is to come at them from the other side. Think of something that really bothers you. Chances are, it’s stepping on some of your Values. Let’s look at hypocrisy. It usually bothers a lot of people, and for many reasons; almost all Values related. It steps on truthfulness, correctness, predictability and thus security, and more; all Values. How about family? For some that brings up security, love, and connection, where for others it brings up the lack of them. Still Values.

When something makes you feel anything strongly, it likely touches on Values, and that’s why they’re so powerful.
Once we’ve established our Values, and what we believe strongly in, we’ve determined the size, weight, and shape of the pebble. Now it’s time to look at what kind of ripples you can make.

Building Habits; Trailblazing
We’re almost always the ones in our own way. We have a ton of bad habits and ways of avoiding. And as the saying goes, doing the same thing and expecting different results is insanity. We have to make some changes, and that means doing some neural trailblazing. You’ve probably also heard that neurons that fire together wire together, and that’s really the basis for most of our habits. We do dumb things mostly because we’ve been doing them for a long time.

Habits come in many flavors, and while some are overt, some hide in the shadows doing plenty of damage. In the overt camp we have bad habits around food, health, phones, and so on. In the covert camp we have bad habits like fixed and skewed interpretations of events and internal narratives. These cause easily as much conflict and stress as the external habits, and need to be changed just as much.

Without going all physics on you, we can all agree that minimizing the amount of energy you have to expend is a good thing. That said, breaking habits is much harder than shifting habits toward something that serves you. If you think of a football player running downfield with the ball as the bad habit, it’s really hard to come straight at him and stop him cold. It’s much easier to bump him out of bounds from the side.  It’s the same with habits.

By identifying the habit, we can come up with something that’s very close in what parts of your brain are being activated, and insert a replacement habit. Then by sheer repetition of catching yourself and introducing the new habit we create a new neural path. It’s just like trailblazing in the wilderness. We head down the well-worn path because it’s easier. We just need to catch ourselves, stop, and head into the tall grass toward where we want to go. Over time, the old path will become overgrown, and we’ll wear down the new path.

Hard to Lift Without Weights
What we really need to achieve this is a structure and a process that works reliably and predictably. Coming up with replacement habits isn’t always easy, and even identifying the habits we have can be tricky. How many of us habitually either put ourselves down, self-criticize, or self-judge? Those aren’t easy habits to shift, but it can be done.

Linguistic habits are some of our trickiest, because they’re the covert ones that hide in our normal way of going about life. We rarely think about the narratives that we repeat over and over, and are often at the core of our issues. Enough repetition, and they disappear from our top of mind awareness, and become like software applications we blindly follow.

This is why I developed the Essential 10 Minutes™ practice. We need something that’s fast, easy, and does as many things as possible in the whole neural re-wiring game. Using this practice, we can reinforce our deepest held Values, reinforce who we are beyond the roles, labels, and expectations of others, plan for a future that excites us, determine the actions necessary, shift our minds from scarcity to sufficiency, and even have some open exploration of what we’re thinking about or processing. We can identify narratives that don’t serve us, like bugs in a program, replace those narratives with ones that do serve us, and using the practice, iron them into our brains using neuroplasticity.

Of course, there’s our greatest challenge. Do we want to escape the prisons of our own narratives enough to dedicate 10 minutes a day to Mindfulness Calisthenics?  If we do almost anything for 10 minutes a day every day for 21 to 28 days, it’s going to become a habit. If we can develop a habit that increases our sense of self, increases our resilience, gives us direction, and increases our effectiveness in everything we do for the rest of the day, it sounds worth it to me.

Want to learn more about how to become the best you possible?  Come visit the web site, or better yet, contact me and see how we can design a program to fit your needs and desired outcomes.

     - Ian J. Blei


September Special Offer:

I'm offering 3 complimentary Dynamic Discovery Sessions (1 session each) to the first 3 people (who haven't already worked with me) who email me this month's secret word: "Habits"  Just put "10 Minutes a Day" in the Subject Line of your email, along with your contact info, and we'll schedule your session.

He combines his extensive knowledge of integral theory, the Enneagram, and neuroscience, in a seamless way (truly a Grand Unifying Theory of Everything), and helps you apply this greater understanding to whatever matters to you. He helps you build the trellis which you can hang any flower on that you choose.." - P.R., - S.F.

Each session is normally a $187.00 value, and will be worth much more to you in life-changing ways.  Good luck! Click to Schedule.


Resource Links:

The Integram (TM) - the podcast series

AMP: Authentic Man Podcast:
a lively conversation between Ian Blei and Executive Director Casey Capshaw, covering everything from intimacy to video games.

Melissa Risdon's Raving Fan Radio Show:
Ian Blei on the
Integram (TM) -understanding ourselves, each other, and our relationships

KG Stiles: "Conversations that Enlighten and Heal"
Ian Blei on Kind Ambition and the
Integram (TM)

Kind Ambition - 2nd Edition

Got Blog? c
ome visit the Blog.




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Welcome to the Integram, where consciousness meets intentional design.   Enjoy!



The Optimizer
Ian Blei,
Director of the
Institute for Integral Enneagram Studies and
President of
Optimized Results



Kind Ambition

Click HERE





Kind Ambition:
Practical Steps
to Achieve Success
 Without Losing Your Soul



Kind Ambition
Fan Page
now on



Kind Ambition is about you having the tools to slide over to the driver’s seat of your own life.  Circumstances will always be changing, seemingly thwarting our plans, but we don’t have to be  thrown around by them. You can be in charge of your choices and actions more than you might imagine - yet.


Kind Ambition is written for you, as a practical guide you can use right now.  It is a collection of  insights and actions designed to help you move forward and get more out of your life at home and at work.  The chapters hold to a formula of first giving you a new way to look at things, then offering you tangible Action Steps to try them out, and finally some things to notice when you do.





Kind words for “Kind Ambition”


"If you are interested in success, whether it is in running a large organization, a small business, or leading a satisfying life, you will find a right blend of rules, wisdom and wit in a digestible fashion that will serve to accomplish your objectives. The notion that kindness can be blended with ambition and made to work and serve the "bottom line" is enlightening, uplifting and satisfying."

-Steven Kiefel – CEO, Red Pill Media




“An easy to use guide for anyone who wants to achieve real  growth and success. His sensible and practical tactics solve age-old challenges with real, how-to solutions. Best of all, Ian lives his work!”

-Romanus Wolter - Author: Kick Start Your Dream Business
Success Coach Columnist: Entrepreneur Magazine
Radio Host: Syndicated Kick Start Guy Segment




" We all face obstacles in our lives and careers. Some of these come from within, subverting our conscious intentions. The  good news is: they can be overcome.  The techniques and processes found in this book will help you on your way."

-Margaret Heffernan – Author: The Naked Truth: A Working Woman's

 Manifesto on Business and What Really Matters

Syndicated Columnist: Fast Company Magazine




“A scientifically-based, spiritually-awake, (and smart and funny) guide to making the most of your life.  Ian Blei provides the know-how, the inspiration, the structure and all the tools you need in  this straightforward and inspirational book.”

     -Lisa Betts-LaCroix, Past President of SF Coaches
Star of Unapix film, “Dance Me Outside”




" Ian Blei shares his deep insights in simple and straightforward ways.  His work continues to inspire me whenever I feel I'm getting stuck in some area of my life."

-Roy King, III , Senior Partner/Channel Marketing Manager - Skype





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