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Making Change Happen
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Go for the Roots
Why do we seek change and growth? What are we looking for? Is it that we’re not getting the results we want? Are we feeling like we’ve almost got it down, but there’s something more, something better just out of reach? Can we see that our old strategies are falling short and maybe even holding us back?

In my experience, all of the above seem to find their way into our lives. What’s really interesting is that 90% of the problems clients bring my way turn out to be symptoms of deeper issues they haven’t even recognized yet. There are so many metaphors for this process of chasing symptoms, and not getting ahead of them. Some people spend the day, “putting out fires.” Some run around clipping “dandelions,” only to see them back the next day. One of my favorite images comes from a game at Fisherman’s Wharf called “Whack-a-Mole,” where every time you whack a mole popping up, another one pops up from another hole. What these images all have in common is the amount of energy wasted in trying to solve root issues by chasing symptoms.



Once we become frustrated enough, we usually seek help. We talk to advisors, consultants, therapists, friends, and coaches. Everybody has ideas for how to deal with this problem or that problem, and yet it’s still more of the same, because we’re dealing with these individual situations as if they were the problems, so they keep showing up again. There’s a quote attributed to Albert Einstein saying that “we cannot solve our problems with the same thinking that created them.” We need a distinctive change in our thinking, and a process for implementing the change we seek.

We need to literally de-bug and re-write our cerebral software, so we can get out of our own way and truly thrive. How do we do it? If our subconscious and unconscious mind is having their way with us, how do we get our conscious mind involved, so we can change? To start, we need a way to decode what our sub and unconscious mind is doing so we can pass that information on to our conscious mind. To do this, we need to use three tools that will enable us to affect and implement deep, sustainable, transformational change: Mindfulness, Somatic Awareness, and Cognitive Linguistics.


Mindfulness, Somatic Awareness, and Cognitive Linguistics
We can’t solve problems we can’t see. First we have to be open to whatever is, and stop trying to force our internal mental constructs on reality. This is Mindfulness at its core; being exceptionally present to take in and absorb what is, without fighting it tooth and nail, or running away to escape it. Mindfulness puts us in a mental state where we’re one with everything that’s working and not working, seeing, feeling, and being a part of it, so that we can understand what’s happening. Mindfulness allows us to see that we’re losing our tempers, being impatient, making assumptions, getting judgmental, or even that we’re simply missing information, due to not being as present.

Then we need to have an “early warning system.” Before we go off the cliff, we need an alarm to sound. It turns out that our bodies give us cues all the time before we do things, but we don’t necessarily listen (or know how to listen.) This skill is called Somatic Awareness. Before we do things we don’t consciously want to do, our bodies send us signals. Our chests get tight, our faces get hot or flushed, our throats tighten up, and so on. This is almost like a wind-up before a pitch or a backswing in golf.



The more Somatically Aware we are, the more easily we hear our bodies warn us that we’re about to go off the rails. This is where we can insert a “pattern interrupt,” and not follow a pattern that isn’t serving us. This is where we can turn left instead of right or take a deep breath instead of yelling at someone.

Now we’re poised at that precipice, but we haven’t implemented the new software yet. No real change is going to happen until we do that, because the void we’re leaving by stopping ourselves will get filled quickly; and usually with another bad “habit.”

Enter our third tool: Cognitive Linguistics. This is the language of your conscious mind, and this is where we can give ourselves new instructions. The wonderful thing about Cognitive Linguistics is that they’re a two-way street. Our words affect the way we think, and the way we think affects our word choice. In implementing the new “code,” we select the right words to shift the internal dialogue, and then repeat this process until it gets “wired” into our cortex. Cognitive Linguistics can take us from defeated to inspired, and from overwhelm to overdrive.

These tools combine to get you exceptionally optimized results. If you want to solve what seems like hundreds of problems, first you need the Mindfulness to see that they’re actually symptoms. Then, continuing the process, you’ll have a system that works every time. Success is all about how artfully this process is carried out. Doing it on your own can be tricky; we all have blindspots; that’s why you need a coach well-versed and experienced in this specific process.

     - Ian J. Blei

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Discover your Operating System and  how that gives you resources and alerts you to challenges, so you can be every bit as incredible as you were meant to be.

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Quick Communication Tip

R.A.R.E. (Take II)
I’m repeating this concept from our last newsletter, because it’s so strongly related to today’s theme. This time, we’ll plug those tools where they fit into the process I call RARE, (Recognize, Arrest, Replace, and Evolve.) We start with Mindfulness which allows us to be able to pay attention to what’s going on in a conscious manner. Then our Somatic Awareness helps us to Recognize when we're about to engage in something that isn’t serving us, such as an old habit. That enables us to Arrest that habit or behavior before we engage in it, which is often called a "pattern interrupt."

The next step becomes that much more important, because at this stage, we're basically standing poised on one foot. Nature abhors a void, so we need to Replace that old habit with a new one. This is where Cognitive Linguistics steps in. We use our inner dialogue to establish a Replacement habit that serves us. This part is one of the more creative aspects of good coaching.

The last letter is for Evolve, because over time (usually between 21 and 28 days) we will have successfully re-wired our brain from the old way of doing things or thinking (habit) to the new way, and from a manner of being or communicating that didn't serve us, to one that does serve us.

Want to learn more about how your communication can hold you back or catapult you forward?  Come visit the web site, or better yet, contact me and see how we can design a program to fit your needs and desired outcomes.


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