an Integral Enneagram of Consciousness; a model of consciousness, including
all aspects, for designing practical
paths of personal development and evolution.
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This may seem
counter-intuitive, but in the sustainable scheme of things, compassion
is an extremely pragmatic exercise, despite our culture’s “mushy”
associations. First, let’s get on the same page with a fresh definition.
Compassion is a sympathetic awareness of others’ distress and a desire
to alleviate it as we would our own. We’re equals in understanding one
another’s experience. This is where the pragmatic part comes in.
Compassion - or the lack of it - is behind virtually every interaction
we have. Everyone needs some level of “understanding their experience.”
That point of connection and understanding is the fuel that drives
interaction. It can be high-octane rocket fuel, or low-octane sludge.
Taking it seriously propels success, so if it doesn’t feel built-in,
it’s definitely a skill set worth learning.
Looking at each other from a new paradigm is a theme throughout “Kind
Ambition.” We need to take awareness further than the old “walk a mile
in their shoes” concept. If we’re stuck in our own perspective, walking
in someone else’s shoes won’t give you true insight into their
perspective. Compassion gives you the ability to be in their skin,
looking out at the world through their filters. This turbocharges your
So how can we figure out who they are? Where does their lens of
perspective point? As nothing defines personality and language quite
like motivation, that’s where our system for enhancing compassion is
We can look at ourselves defined by motivation from the inside out, but
that doesn’t always help in understanding others from the outside in. We
need another step: language, or more precisely cognitive linguistics.
Because our lens of perspective or primary motivation crafts our
language, our finely tuned ear can clue us in to another person’s lens.
By listening closely, and asking questions that’ll help you grasp their
focus, you’ll be able to gather a vast amount of information about them,
enabling you to understand far more in less time. Their subtext becomes
clear, without assumption or projection, and you can speak their
language. Let’s give you a few alternative communication approaches to
use when you hear the clues that fit.
Someone uses very precise language, always in a context of politeness.
They seem to be very rules oriented, and get frustrated with how things
are clashing with how they should be.
Avoid direct disagreement in favor of offering alternatives, and respect
their commitment to doing things the “right way.”
Someone uses fast, to-the-point language, seems to be in a hurry, and
focused on a specific goal or objective. They may seem a bit competitive
and focused on being seen as successful.
Understand that their impatience is due to preferring action to talking
or planning, so keep the interaction short and to-the-point. If at all
possible, bring the goal or objective to the foreground quickly.
Someone seems to shoot down ideas, or tests you or your words with doubt
and maybe a bit of skepticism. Maybe they see themselves as
cards from the outset. Let them know why you’re there, what you want,
and what your agenda is straight off, so they won’t feel the need to
assess your hidden motives.
Someone is always enthusiastic, bubbling with brainstorms, interested in
everything, and wanting to be a major part of everything going on. They
may have less interest in details or follow-up.
language that just hits the headlines, gives them room to be
enthusiastic, and doesn’t pop their bubbles.
interacts in a toe-to-toe, maybe even what might feel confrontational
style. You might feel their force of will from their energy alone.
energetically, but don’t fold or raise. Interact with them in a
straight from the hip, no sugarcoating, no BS manner. They want real
commitment without excuses. Lead, follow, or get out of the way.
Someone appears to agree with you, but when the time comes to act, you
find out they didn’t. They seem to have difficulty with priorities and
decisions, and can become almost “invisible” to avoid conflict.
Use precise language, leaving little to interpretation. Give them time
to think things through, and let them know it’s okay to disagree. When
they seem to start over-thinking, remind them of their strong intuition.
Just listening intently enough to make these distinctions will have
already alerted the mirror neurons in your brain to begin synchronizing
with the other person. We aren’t chameleons, and need to retain our
authentic selves during these interactions, but if you aim for these
approaches, you’ll find yourself truly sharing their experience and
communicating effortlessly. You’ll be using compassion as a pragmatic
skill-set to enhance and enrich your interactions with everyone in your
life. This may be the single most powerful skill-set we have as human
Want to learn more about how to become the best you possible?
Come visit the
or better yet,
contact me and see how we can design a program to fit your needs and desired outcomes.
- Ian J. Blei
To date, I've only offered
a special on "Kind Ambition" for the December holidays, so people can
pick up a bunch of "stocking stuffer" gifts conveniently and
inexpensively, and felt it was time for a different kind of special
From now until June 30th, I'm going to set up a special sale for "Kind
Ambition." When you pick up 5 copies, to share with clients, friends,
and family, I'm reducing the list price ($15.95) down to wholesale
($10.00) and paying your tax and shipping, AND throwing in a 6th
That's over a $125.00 value for only $50.00
"My clients are going to be so much easier to work with after they
read Kind Ambition!" - M.P., S.F. Business Coach
Don't miss this opportunity! Everyone you give this book to will thank
you, and that includes a gift to yourself!
I'm also offering 3 complimentary Dynamic Discovery
the first 3 people (who haven't already worked with me) who email me
this month's secret word: "Acetylcholine"
A thought isn't a thought until there's transmission and interaction.
Want to see how you're doing both? Just put "Acetylcholine" in the Subject Line of your email, along with your contact
info, and we'll schedule your session.
combines his extensive knowledge of integral theory, the Enneagram, and
neuroscience, in a seamless way (truly a Grand Unifying Theory of
Everything), and helps you apply this greater understanding to whatever
matters to you. He helps you build the trellis which you can hang any
flower on that you choose.." -
P.R., - S.F.
Each session is
normally a $187.00 value, and will be worth much more to you in
life-changing ways. Good luck!
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ourselves, each other, and our relationships
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Welcome to the Integram, where consciousness meets
Institute for Integral Enneagram
Without Losing Your Soul
about you having
the tools to slide over to the
driver’s seat of your
Circumstances will always be
changing, seemingly thwarting
our plans, but we don’t have to be
thrown around by them. You can
charge of your choices and actions more than you might imagine - yet.
is written for you,
as a practical guide you can
right now. It is a collection of
insights and actions designed to help
you move forward and get more out
of your life at home and at work.
The chapters hold to a formula of
first giving you a new way to look at
things, then offering you tangible
Action Steps to try them out, and
finally some things to notice when you do.
Kind words for
"If you are interested in success, whether it is in running a large
organization, a small business, or leading a satisfying life, you will
find a right blend of rules, wisdom and wit in a digestible fashion that
will serve to accomplish your objectives. The notion that kindness can
be blended with ambition and made to work and serve the "bottom line" is
enlightening, uplifting and satisfying."
-Steven Kiefel – CEO, Red Pill Media
“An easy to use guide for anyone who wants to
growth and success. His sensible and practical tactics
solve age-old challenges with real, how-to solutions. Best of all, Ian
lives his work!”
-Romanus Wolter -
Author: Kick Start Your Dream Business
Success Coach Columnist: Entrepreneur Magazine
Radio Host: Syndicated Kick Start Guy Segment
We all face obstacles in our lives and careers. Some of these come from within, subverting our conscious intentions. The
good news is: they can be overcome. The techniques and processes found in this book will help you on your way."
-Margaret Heffernan – Author: The Naked Truth: A Working Woman's
Manifesto on Business and What Really Matters
Syndicated Columnist: Fast
scientifically-based, spiritually-awake, (and smart and funny) guide to
making the most of your life. Ian Blei provides the know-how, the
inspiration, the structure and all the tools you need in this
-Lisa Betts-LaCroix, Past
President of SF Coaches
Star of Unapix film,
“Dance Me Outside”
Ian Blei shares his deep insights in simple and straightforward
ways. His work continues to inspire me whenever I feel I'm getting stuck in some area of my life."
-Roy King, III
Partner/Channel Marketing Manager - Skype