an Integral Enneagram of Consciousness; a model of consciousness, including
all aspects, for designing practical
paths of personal development and evolution.
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Where crazy and conscious collide
Tuesday, February 4, 2014
"Identity's Paradox: Role v.
In the Beginning
Obviously our reactions are an important part of
our survival. As I’ve often said, when a bear jumps out from behind a
tree, you really don’t have the time to ascertain his intentions; you’ve
got to move fast. So reactions aren’t a bad thing in and of themselves.
It’s really a matter of the right tool for the right job. Today, most of
us don’t have to deal with
bears jumping out at us, so we do have the time to ascertain what’s
going on in the moment.
Ascertaining what’s going on in the moment. That little phrase belies
one of the most powerful skillsets we can develop; the power of
Mindfulness. There are many definitions of Mindfulness, but Dr. Dan
Siegel of UCLA has one that’s as easy to grasp, as it is accurate. We
have “experiential circuitry” in our brains devoted to taking in new
data, and “observational circuitry” devoted to correlating that with
existing data. This enables us to create meaning and a kind of
descriptive narrative or context.
What usually happens is that our “observational circuitry” lags behind
our “experiential circuitry,” creating a kind of gap between them. We
experience something and figure out what it was about afterward.
Mindfulness is about shrinking that gap, so that we understand what’s
happening more in the moment. We’re experiencing and understanding
almost at the same time.
In Neolithic times, finding meaning or context wasn’t as immediately
important as not being eaten by a lion. Being relatively reactive was
the right tool for the job, when what was happening around us was more
about immediate physical threats. This is no longer the case. Especially
as our interactions, our communication, and our lives get more complex,
we need to understand what’s happening around us on a much deeper level.
Just a Pinch of Thought
When we’re in reactive mode, we’re like billiard balls, bouncing off of
everything, with no intentional direction. Something comes up and we
bounce off of it, running into something else, then bouncing off of
that. Aside from the physical and emotional damage it does to us over
time, it’s also just not very productive. Being in constant reaction, we
never get the opportunity to get in front of circumstances with
strategic planning. We’re constantly putting out fires instead of taking
the time to make things fire-proof.
What’s worse is that when we’re in a reactive mode, zipping around at
top speed, we make a lot of mistakes, These mistakes end up taking so
much time to fix, that we end up with a very slow net result. Whether
it’s saying or doing something, we can be sure that rushing and reacting
will result in regret. Remember, reacting is by definition not thinking.
This is what happens when the doctor taps a rubber hammer on your knee’s
patella, and your leg kicks. You don’t have the opportunity to insert
Introduce just a pinch of thought, and reaction becomes a response;
thoughtful and measured. You might think that you don’t have time for
this, but that’s a myth. There’s an old expression I use pretty often:
“measure twice; cut once.” Taking that moment to double-check before you
say or do something will invariably stop you from making the kind of
mistakes that take extra time and energy to repair.
You see this sort of thing all the time. People are in this brainless,
reactive state of mind, and rushing to get out of the house, forget
important papers, keys, or spill coffee on themselves while
multi-tasking. This inevitably eats up more time than if we’d slowed
down just enough to be more conscious and intentional. Especially if you
have to go back in the house to change your coffee-soaked clothes, or
you’ve locked yourself out, or both.
The Speed of Success
I was talking with an athlete about using a Mindful approach, and he
said that in virtually every sport, one of the top techniques for
success is something called “slowing time.” If you’ve ever swung a golf
club, baseball bat, or tennis racket, you know that the more you try to
kill the ball, the worse the shot. Taking the time to prepare,
visualize, and smoothly swing through the ball gets much better results.
I’ve had clients who felt pressed to be more reactive, because speed was
such a highly valued commodity, and yet once we looked at error rates,
re-dos, uncomfortable customer conversations when the wrong documents
went out, and so forth, we saw that rushing was not the solution.
Smooth, steady, and accurate yield us much faster results in the long
run, as well as less work. All we need to do is add that pinch of
thought. Responsive will always beat reactive.
We can take a few seconds to save hours. We can listen to another person
more fully, and with more attention, because we’re not rushing off in
our mind. We can avoid misunderstandings that waste time. We can give
others the gift of our full attention, enriching our relationships, and
creating depth and sustainability. We can do things once, without
errors, giving us back more time to do more (if we want to). We can also
fully experience our own lives, rather than a blur from the window of
our speeding bullet train.
Want to learn more about how to become the best you possible?
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contact me and see how we can design a program to fit your needs and desired outcomes.
- Ian J. Blei
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